


Unforgettable

by DopeScotlandWarrior



Category: Outlander Series - Diana Gabaldon
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-12
Updated: 2020-01-08
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:33:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 42,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21765340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DopeScotlandWarrior/pseuds/DopeScotlandWarrior
Summary: Claire Beauchamp is a devoted nurse who loves to walk on the wild side, staking her claim on the next experience, forgetting it tomorrow. Emotions are for the weak she has decided and she is better off without them. She is leaving Edinburgh with the traveling nurse program, never to return. Her next post is Honduras where Joe Abernathy is waiting for her.  Claire crashes into James Fraser at her going away party and takes a piece of him to Honduras. The mysterious Fraser tries to forget the Sassenach and gets on with his life. Angst and violence, love and friendship, courage and rescue.
Relationships: Claire Beauchamp/Jamie Fraser
Comments: 302
Kudos: 328





	1. Chapter 1

Short flouncy skirt, tight strapless top, boyfriend jacket, bare legs, high heels, curled lashes, red lipstick, and wild black hair. 

“Oh my God Beauchamp, you have outdone yourself.”

“Claire! You are late for your own party! Time to go!”

“Okay, okay, let’s go.”

Claire smiled at Geillis and Laoghaire when they gushed over her outfit. The three of them were notorious fashion smashers who could not give a rip about fitting in. Her friends looked bomb tonight, very fitting for her favorite club and last night out for two years. 

I will go out in style tonight, she decided.

Entering the club they heard the loud roar from friends, causing enough of a disturbance to make heads turn in their direction. Claire scanned the crowd and smiled at the good looking men, it was her weakness after all. Bodies were hugging and shots were pounded and then it was time time to dance. Claire grabbed Laoghaire and pointed at Geillis and they pushed into the center of the dance floor to get their groove on. After five songs Claire headed back to the table and was pulled into Rupert’s lap showing her a cherry in his palm. 

“Lovely! Lay down your bets people, Geillis will cover up to one hundred dollars!” Geillis shot her a look and she shot one back, I got this, no worries.

Someone dropped a second cherry into Rupert’s palm and a fifty-dollar bill was slapped on the table. Claire looked up at a dreamy cowboy in a Stetson and felt her panties melt off. She smiled and took the challenge pushing both cherries into her mouth. Mister dreamy sat down and watched closely and four minutes later out came two cherries tied together. Dreamy turned them this way and that smiling at her parlor trick. 

“Care to dance…miss…”

They swayed to a slow song while she took inventory of dreamy. Stunning hair and height, handsome face, but alas, she wasn’t feeling it. When he walked her back he pointed in the direction of his table and asked her to join him. Claire smiled and said maybe later. Shots came to the table and her friends toasted her as they slammed them back.

Laoghaire spoke in Claire’s ear that her cousin was here and she should say hello. She pulled Laoghaire into her lap and kissed her on the mouth before standing up to meet her kin. She was used to looking eye to eye with most men so when she saw a massive chest her eyes kept going up. Square jaw and cleft chin, yummy blue- oh my God eyes. She quickly surveyed the table and then put her arms around his neck to speak into his ear.

“I’m sorry but newcomers are required to kiss someone with dark hair and it looks like I am the only one at the table with dark hair. Let’s get this over with so you can get on with your night.”

She pulled his laughing mouth down on hers for a sensuous soft kiss that he was in no hurry to end. His arms came around her and his kiss deepened and then suddenly it was over. Claire told him that was fine and announced James was one of us tonight. Geillis started screaming it was time to dance and pulled her to the dance floor. They waved and hollered at their favorite dj and he spun their favorites for the next hour keeping them on the floor shaking their ass.

Claire pulled Geillis back to the table before passing out from heat exhaustion. More shots were ordered and more friends came until the table had no seats left. She tapped cousin Jaime on the shoulder and motioned to his lap. He laughed and pushed away from the table so she could sit. Ooh, an unexpected delight was her short skirt being pushed this way and that by her constant twisting in Jamie’s lap. Before long she was in direct contact with the denim covering Jamie’s thigh and decided that was spectacular. 

Someone produced an old Instamatic camera and the friends burned through three rolls of film, toasting and kissing each other, hugging and smiling. Because it was Claire’s going away party, most of the pictures were of her and various friends and all of those were on the lap of Laoghaire’s cousin. 

She felt his hand move down her leg and she looked at him smiling. 

“I have to go Sassenach, work tomorrow. I wish I could stay.”

“I get it, someone has to be responsible to remind all of us that we are hopeless miscreants. I suppose you have to take your lap with you? Alright, James.”

She kissed him and held his cheeks to keep him on her lips. The minute she broke the kiss she shot out of his lap heading for the dance floor.

It was an extraordinary night. Geillis left a bit early to pursue her new love interest and Laoghaire and Claire stumbled out to Laoghaire’s car after last call. 

“Laoghaire, your staying on my couch tonight. You are much too drunk to drink alone… drive alone. Thankfully, I am with you and will keep you on the road, at least to my apartment.”

“Alright, but I’m up and out early for school tomorrow. Thank God I don’t have hangovers. Is there anything ye need help with, gettin ready to leave?”

“No sweetheart. I have a doctor’s appointment tomorrow to clear me for my shots, and then the shots of course, and I’m done. If I'm completely ready one day before I leave it keeps the anxiety at bay, ya know? Good night sweet one, thanks for bringing your cousin, he is a gorgeous man that one.”

Once she tucked Laoghaire in she closed her bedroom door to send a text message to Joe. He would be sleeping but he would see it in the morning. 

C: Everything still super groovy? I will see you in three days, can’t wait.

Claire flopped down on her bed and fell asleep with her clothes on. It wasn’t the first time. The next morning she was racing around the apartment trying to find something to wear and finally opened some boxes to find clean clothes. Late, as usual, she pushed the UBER driver to hurry but he couldn’t find the doctor’s office. Geillis set the appointment for her but failed to mention how to get there. Flush with frustration she pulled out her phone and set the navigation. Five minutes later she stood winded at the reception desk signing the check-in sheet. 

Waiting to be called, she mentally ticked items off her to-do list and remembered the last conversation with Joe.

“Very primitive Claire. Lucky if we have electricity to run the lights and sterilize the instruments. Weather is nice. Ninety degrees and ninety percent humidity.”

Since she followed him all over the globe, she wished he would be more discerning when choosing his next post. Maybe I will pick next time, she thought, two years from now when we get ready to leave. I wonder if he would follow me? I would never put him to the test. I can’t live without Joe so where he goes, I go. Hearing her name snapped her out of her daydreaming. 

The nurse mumbled something about my being late for the appointment as she pulled Claire’s hips to the end of the examination table and secured her feet in the stirrups. 

“I’m sorry, the UBER driver got lost. I don’t suppose the doctor can fix chronic tardiness?”

“The doctor will be in shortly Claire.”

Claire pulled her phone out of her purse and checked her messages. Typing a quick response to one of them she heard the door open and doctor washing his hands. she clicked send and looked up at what had to be a joke, a very bad joke. 

“What the hell are you doing here in that white coat inching toward my business end?” 

She watched the color drain from his face. He was as shocked as she was. Christ on a crutch, how did this….Geillis!

“I’m doctor James Fraser and you are here to verify no pregnancy, pap, and clear ye for shots before ye travel to… Honduras!”

“Stop! Don’t come an inch closer, please stop. This is a mistake, I need a real doctor, a better doctor, I mean a doctor I don’t know. Sorry, I have to go.”

“Sassenach, I am a professional, no need for embarrassment.” 

“I hardly believe that the way you are giggling, and would you please just stand still while I think.”

“I can do better. I will see my next patient and give you some time.”

When he disappeared out the door she jumped off the table and wrapped the ridiculous fitting gown around her then paced the small room. She was so freaked out and really couldn’t think at the moment so she dialed the diabolical Geillis for help. 

“Geillis! I need another doctor's appointment, today! This doctor is Laoghaire’s cousin who came to the bar last night. I can’t let him bury his nose in my cooch. Can you find another doctor…”

“Don’t be silly Claire. I see him for my yearly and he’s great, not to mention drop fucking dead gorgeous. No Claire, it's him or no one because ye wait until the last minute to do everything. Just bite the bullet and let the man do his thing.”

“Why do I feel manipulated right now?”

“It took some doing to get him to the bar last night so maybe that’s it. He is my going away present for my short term best friend.”

Claire was speechless. Geillis was right, it was her own fault. If she was going to leave in three days she had to get through this. She climbed back up on the exam table and melted into her misery. 

“Sassenach, have ye decided what to do?”

He walked to the end of the table and put his elbows on her knees. “I can probably do this without lookin if that will make it easier for ye.”

Claire knew she had run out the clock and had no choice in the matter but that did not ease her humiliation. He waited patiently while she tortured through the inevitable decision to get this over with. shutting her eyes tightly she told him to hurry. I never have to see him again, she thought, he is a stranger to me. 

“Hurry please.”

It was over in a matter of minutes and doctor Fraser was pulling his gloves off and wishing her well. The door clicked shut and she was alone to dress and get the hell out of there. 

On her way home, she considered how few men in the world were truly handsome, fewer still were those with a body you wanted to bounce off of. The rarest of this small, endowed group were those with a good heart. The triple threat as it were. Doctor James Fraser was a triple threat and she wanted a second helping before disappearing into the jungle for two years. She leaned back in her seat and asked the driver to push up his speed. She needed to call Laoghaire and ask a favor. 

Claire looked at her buzzing phone and smiled at the caller ID.

“Miss Beauchamp this is doctor Fraser.”

“Oh please, call me … whatever it is you call me.”

“The message says yer havin complications from the procedure today.”

“Yes, complications, what should I do?”

“Can you explain what’s amiss, do ye have pain?”

“Not yet but I’m afraid that may be happening soon.” She held her breath and waited.

When he spoke again his voice sounded softer and more interested. “I dinna want to send ye into the jungle with unresolved health issues Miss Beauchamp. Perhaps ye would meet me for dinner to discuss the problem. I believe that is best at this stage.” 

“Do you mean tonight doctor?”

“For tonight I need a promise of a short skirt and high heels and ye agree to cheer my team to victory in the playoffs.” 

There was silence on the line and Claire was breathing from open lips. She heard his deep voice, “can that be arranged Sassenach?”

“That would be fine I suppose. Where is the game, I will be cheering from the stands.”

She wrote quickly and ran to the shower before plowing through her boxes for a short skirt as requested by the good doctor.

She was late getting to the game because she was late for everything. Walking toward the bleachers she saw the doctor’s impressive ass as he bent in a huddle with his players. Claire was amazed at the little people hanging on his every word. He broke the huddle and scanned the crowd quickly. His head snapped back to black combat boots, bare thighs, and a short skirt. She waved and smiled, calling out “GO…” oops, she leaned toward the lady next to her and shouted “Wolverines!!”

Claire was in her fan zone, having a great time. When doctor Fraser’s team was running the ball toward the goal she was on her feet cheering them on. With less than two minutes left in the game, Jaime pulled in a fresh player and spoke into his ear as he nodded his head. He shot a look at Claire catching her biting her nails, wide-eyed. Jamie managed to look at his player in time to call a code they had practiced a thousand times and the team came together in a formation that broke all the rules of the game. 

His new player kicked the ball hard into an area without players as a teammate was running to take possession. Once the ball was securely underfoot the kid passed the ball to a teammate who specialized in high-flying aerial kicks. The player ran for the goal, twisting just a foot from the goalie and looking into the sky as the ball came down like a rocket. He kicked it into the net and the stands erupted. The kids on Jamie’s team almost exploded on the field. With wide eyes and huge smiles, they searched the crowd for their coach, to say, oh my God it worked, you were right, sorry we doubted you. 

Jamie strode to the coach of the opposing team with his outstretched hand and a humble smile. He was aware of the all too rare moments to demonstrate sportsmanlike behavior. Claire scanned the field for his clump of kids and smiled at their jubilation. As Jamie walked back they ran to him clamoring for his attention. Claire watched their mouths closely, “thank you, coach,” “You were right coach,” “sorry I was an asshole coach.” Claire thought she had a handle on the situation and she stood in the stands and smiled down at this handsome man.

Jamie was shaking the hands of the parents and smiling as he tried to extricate himself from the well-wishers. His gaze was stuck on the smiling Claire and one of the fathers figured it out. 

“Is lovely legs your post-game party Fraser?”

Jamie looked at him dubiously, “somethin like that.”

Like Moses parting the red sea, the man cleared the bodies between Jamie and the bleachers and stopped several kids from going after him.

Claire sat in the bleachers and watched him approach with a smile for the hero. Jamie took inventory of her frilly feminine skirt, lace up trench boots, ribbed wife-beater, jeans jacket, red lipstick, a bit of mascara, and those amazing eyes. 

“Ye were the best fan we ever had Sassenach. Can I rent yer services?”

“Yes, of course. I’ve always fancied myself a professional fan.” As she walked down the stairs her skirt popped up above her thigh with each step. Jamie was transfixed watching the feminine lace and army boots under it. She stayed a stair above him and laid her arm across his shoulders as her lace bounced. Jamie liked the feeling of a woman’s arm up there and having to look up to see her face. 

“I like yer boots Sassenach”

“Christ, my apologies. You asked for high heels but I couldn’t find any in my boxes and I was already late. These are standard issue for where I’m going with the traveling nurses program. I hope you’re not disappointed, Jamie.”

She bounced down to the ground level and looked up at Jamie who studied her inch by inch. Claire felt a wave of arousal move through her and Jamie saw the millisecond she gave into it.

He looked into her eyes and saw a free spirit, playful and vulnerable, yet honed by something big. Somehow she chose to forget her embarrassment of that morning because it suited her to do so and then she set her cap for a bit of fun with him. He was truly honored this beauty would choose him.

“Will ye feel safe on my couch for five minutes while I shower and change?”

“That depends. Will you be feeding me tonight?”

“Absolutely, anything ye like.”

“I like whisky and fine hors d'oeuvres”

“Perfect, me too.”

Claire decided Jamie Fraser smelled like heaven when he was clean and she kept pushing her nose into his neck to breathe deep. Jamie watched her skirt rise higher on her thigh and relished the intense arousal of having her mouth so close to his neck. They hit five of Edinburgh’s best for shellfish, aged beef, sushi, greek, and Mandarin. It was in the Mandarin restaurant that she gave up her side of the booth to sit across his lap and feed him delicacies with expert use of chopsticks. One bite followed by a kiss and Jamie’s hand found it’s way to her knee and then higher.

“I am so stuffed I don’t think I can walk but let's try. I knew you would be so fun to go out with. Thank you for agreeing, I had the most wonderful time.”

Claire decided to satisfy her curiosity. She would not be coming back to Edinburgh when her commitment was up and would never see any of these people again, including Jamie Fraser. She clutched his arm as they walked to his car.

“Why did you choose a career in pussy?” She leaned into his ear, “do you love it that much?” 

He looked at her genuine interest and smiled. “I love bairns and families as well as female reproduction. It is very rewarding to see a woman through her pregnancy safely and catch the baby she has wanted all her life.”

“That is totally sweet but how do you deal with the jealous husbands when your face is buried between her legs under a sheet?”

Jamie cleared his throat uncomfortably, “I have not thought of it that way Sassenach.” 

“I have thought of little else.” 

She pulled his arm around her waist and stood on tiptoes to kiss him. His kiss was soft and exploratory as he touched her face and looked into her eyes. She tried again using her tongue and hoping he would give in to his brutal side. That is the orgasmic side where the party starts. She had no need or comfort with the emotional side. It scared her, it was needy, it would want to plant her somewhere and grow her into a smaller version of himself. She tried it a couple of times and decided that life was not for her.

“We should get going. I have two days before I leave and a week of work to do.” When they were at her door Jamie asked why she invited him out tonight. He liked her and didn’t understand her sudden distance.

“To see that awesome game, eat exotic food, drink the best whisky, and fuck. I have a desire for you that is completely carnal. Before she could get her key in the lock Jamie grabbed a fistful of hair and pulled her head back to receive his crushing kiss. He licked from her collar bone to her mouth making her groan. Pulling her up he felt her legs go around his waist and grind down on him.

While they were otherwise distracted, a male neighbor walked toward his apartment next door feasting on the erotic dance happening in front of Claire’s apartment. Jamie rolled his eyes at the stranger and said move along as best he could with Claire’s tongue in his mouth.

Jamie took her keys and opened the door tripping over a box directly in his path. He spun in midair so he would land on his back taking most of the impact. He looked up at Claire straddling him, “I want ye lass.”

“Well, we finally agree. I believe you are already acquainted with my pussy, care to return the favor handsome?” 

Before the night was up Claire would experience the lethal combination of a strong finger rubbing her G-spot while a wicked tongue flicked, soft lips sucked, and nipples were pinched. Jamie reclined on her headboard with a fistful of Claire’s hair guiding her mouth to his balls and then telling her to open her mouth as he exploded down her throat. 

When Jamie could breathe again he looked at Claire and recognized the signs of a booty call. Fidgety, suddenly silent, and glancing at the clock. This was the worst part of casual sex for Jamie. No warmth, vacant eyes, an empty heart, and guilt he had done it again.

“Your a beautiful girl Sassenach, will ye be comin back to Edinburgh when yer tour is up?”

“No.”

Jamie shook her hand, “I wish ye all the best miss.” He grabbed his jacket and left without another word. He had zero respect for women like Claire who buried their heart in concrete and just disconnected from their emotions. A man was just like a job to them. Some were amazing and fun and others were drudgery but she got an orgasm paycheck after which she enjoyed her freedom and answered to no one. 

He stared at the road ahead, hating his sexual need that put him in this mood time after time. He dated two girls in college that were in love with him but they could not compete with medicine. He thought about them often, the way they would hold him, run their fingers across his skin, kiss him breathless while being so fragile. They made him feel like Hercules but his plan did not include commitment at that stage so he ultimately hurt them and moved on. 

Jamie dropped into his bed and thought about Claire in the dark. She was exotic and beautiful, daring and spontaneous. Most women were so afraid of saying the wrong thing they didn’t say much at all, forcing him to pry each word from their mouths. Those dates were uncomfortable and regrettable as he shook their hand and said goodnight. Not with Claire. When her mouth opened it was anybody’s guess what was coming out and he loved it. He loved her free spirit and her ability to accept each moment as it came taking everything she could from it. The bold initiation kiss at the bar was so Claire. He smiled in the dark remembering her demand for a kiss because he was a newcomer. Claire decided what she wanted in each moment and then asked for it. Why couldn’t all women own their power that way? He slept fitfully, dreaming of the wild and beautiful Claire Beauchamp.

Claire watched the door close behind the handsome doctor and felt very strange about the way he left. His sudden distance and shaking her hand, calling her miss. What the hell was that all about? Why did he opt out of intercourse? It was the closest she would ever come to couples love when two people were heart to heart clinging to each other. She wished for that brief moment of pretend with him and her neediness for it surprised her. She wondered if she had made an enemy tonight. Why did she care? She would never see these people again and if Jamie felt bad about a romp with her that was his problem. She got up and headed for the shower. 

Feeling fresh and clean Claire wrapped up in her favorite robe and made Chamomile tea to fight off her anxiety. She opened her book but her thoughts kept going back to the date with Jamie. He was such a gentleman and made sure she was having fun all evening. She told him about following her best friend Joe from post to post with traveling nurses. She watched his eyes get dark and mentioned Joe was a devout gay man. She wondered what his reaction was. The disappointment she was attached or annoyance he was pursuing another man’s woman? She would never know. When she sat on his lap and fed him mandarin delicacies he looked at her like she was the only woman in the world. Christ, that’s it! He charmed me and I am feeling the residual of that eye contact and arousal. 

“Jesus Christ, it’s one in the morning and I have got to get some sleep.”

Claire laid in her bed and kept her nose to the pillow he used. That amazing scent was with her in her dreams all night and by morning she knew what had to be done. 

Jamie dragged himself to the field for the last game of the playoffs. His team was psyched to win and he was yawning. Not a great start and he shook his head to clear it. With the game underway and a very skilled opposing team, he was struggling to stay motivated.

Jamie jumped up when his team took the ball and ran it toward the goal. They needed a goal and he held his breath. As he watched every player move the ball down the field he heard a familiar whistle and voice shouting “go wolverines!” He looked in the stands and there she was, his almost perfect date. He smiled at her and felt his heart ramming in his chest. What is wrong with you Fraser, he thought. She will rip your heart out and jump on a plane. 

Claire watched his eyes and saw his interest so he didn’t hate her completely. What she was doing there was anyone’s guess as she didn’t know herself. Looking online earlier she saw the playoff schedule and just showed up to cheer them on. The Wolverines scored and Claire launched to her feet calling out the player numbers that rocked. The average age of the team was fourteen and there was enough testosterone flowing through them to notice her short skirt and pretty legs. Normally Jamie would notice a shift in the energy of his team but he was under her spell as well. 

When he couldn’t stand the distance anymore Jamie climbed the stands and she offered her hand. He looked at the eyes he had missed all night. 

“Nice surprise Sassenach.”

“Well, you did ask me to cheer for your team and I love the little buggers, playing so good tonight.”

“I appreciate the support. I wish I could sit up here with you but I can’t.”

“What would happen if I sat down there with you?”

He held out his hand and walked her down the stands to sit on the field with him. He gave her tidbits of history on the prominent players and noticed she never took her eyes off the kids. It honestly looked like she was enjoying the game instead of waiting for a chance to have his attention. 

Claire could not read Jamie’s energy and wanted to ask if he was happy she came. What do I friggin care, she wondered. Get your head on straight with mister gorgeous. You are here to exorcise him from your head and that is it. Tomorrow, Honduras, and two years of hard work with Joe, I can’t wait, so why am I here again?

The game ended, Jamie’s team won with one game left to play for the state championship. The kids were so excited and blushed fiercely when Claire mentioned how well they played. She gave out smiles like they were free and the kids were eating them up. Jamie noticed many of the parents watching her as well. He felt a moment of pride that she was with him and then mentally kicked himself for thinking that. By the time they could extract themselves he was mentally exhausted. 

“What time is yer flight tomorrow?”

“Not until two in the afternoon.”

Jamie looked at her skirt and remembered running his hand under a similar garment and touching her round ass and flat stomach. Her lovely core was shaved clean and glistened with interest. He shook his head again. 

“Well, what would you like to do Sassenach. Since ye didna run to an UBER after the game I ken you need my attention. How can I help ye?”

Jamie cringed at the harsh sound of his statement and noticed a flicker of insecurity in her eyes. He wanted to take her places she would never forget but he couldn’t and being this close to her was making him a little crazy.

“To be honest, I don’t know. Can I fix you dinner and just talk to you for a while?”

“Home cooking?”

“Oh, yea, I gave my entire kitchen to charity so we have to do it at your house. That is if you want me to cook for you.”

As wonderful as she was, Jamie was not in the mood for another sexual encounter that would make him feel like shit all day tomorrow. He looked at her beautiful eyes and missed her already.

“I am big on honesty Sassenach. Tell me what ye want from me tonight.”

When he saw her blush his heart melted right in his chest. 

“I’m rather good at forgetting people but it didn’t work this time. To be honest, I don’t want to take my infatuation to Honduras, I fear it would be very hard to live that way, missing you. I am poison to relationships, that’s why I don’t have them anymore, so this will be a favor to you as well.”

“Like a dual exorcism ye mean.” Jamie held her soft hand and looked up at the sky. “I would be happy to help but I have no food to cook.”

“I will pick up some groceries while you take a shower. It won’t take me any time at all.” She ordered an UBER and kissed his cheek. 

Jamie laid on the couch for ten minutes to rest and question his motives in allowing this tonight. She seemed so genuine and her honesty impressed him. She wanted to learn enough to forget him after tonight and resume her heartless life. Well, he could say the same about her, he decided, so stop thinking and get in the shower! 

Claire let herself in and admired the trendy apartment once more. It was the perfect bachelor pad for a young, single, handsome doctor. She rolled her eyes at the thought of how much action he got here followed by the same argument she had with herself all day. What do you care, he probably gets a lot of pussy and more power to him. 

Jamie emerged from his shower letting the aromas of food fill his lungs. It was not something that happened often and he enjoyed knowing she was here in his kitchen. He opened his mouth to say something and realized she was dancing with her earbuds in. She held a large salmon to her chest and slow danced with it, her head back, eyes closed, having a moment with the fish. Jamie felt a scary shift in his existence wishing he had not seen it. Then she freaked out and dropped the fish. 

“Sorry, when I turned around and saw you it shocked me. Good thing I hadn’t taken the fish out of the package. See, floor is still clean.”

“What are ye makin Sassenach?”

“Your favorite, Salmon, with asparagus and baby red potatoes, which doesn’t sound Scottish by the way.” 

“I spent a year at Columbia during my medical training and learned to enjoy the healthy foods they eat. Of course, nothin can replace bangers and mash but it will put ye in an early grave.”

Jamie pulled out two glasses and filled them with a very special whisky. He watched Claire’s face as she rolled it in her mouth and swallowed with a smile. 

“I better get the fish ready before I start dancing with it again.” Another blush.

They talked about their lives, growing up, college and working in their chosen career. She told Jamie about her parent's death at age five, growing up with Uncle lamb in the farthest reaches of the globe and coming back to civilization at sixteen years old.

“I didn’t fit in very well at first. When I started nursing school I met my friend Joe Abernathy and we have been joined at the hip ever since.” 

“What would happen if Joe settled somewhere and quit traveling?”

“Then I would work there and probably start being responsible. Saving money and stuff like that.  
“If you own an estate in the country why do you live here?”

“My sister Jenny lives there with her husband. It’s too far away to be called to the hospital in the middle of the night to deliver a baby.”

“You have been practicing medicine for three years and you are thirty-three? Did you want to be an astronaut but couldn’t make the cut? Seriously, what were you doing from eighteen to thirty-three?”

“Seven years of university and medical school. The rest of the time I was earning money for my education.” 

Jamie thought about telling her the truth. It was something he would do if she were not leaving the next day forever. He ached to tell her everything but that was absolute folly. Even if she were madly in love and camped out on his doorstep, the odds she would accept who he was during those missing years were stacked against him.

The conversation continued through dinner and dishes, each taking turns describing their lives up to this point. Jamie poured two Drambuie over crushed ice and invited her to sit on the sofa. 

“That was a delicious dinner Sassenach, thank you so much.”

“My pleasure. I love this drink, what is it?”

Jamie watched her amazing eyes as he described the drink is made from Highland Heather honey and scotch. Very sweet and perfect after dinner. She watched him talk and her face revealed her inner struggle to get past this infatuation with him. 

“How are you doing Claire? Are ye feeling better? Ready to get to Honduras tomorrow?”

She walked on her knees across the couch and pushed her face into his. Jamie breathed her in wanting so badly to touch her but he couldn’t. Claire held his cheeks and looked into his eyes. 

“I’m a hopeless mess, it’s not better, I don’t know why I am crushing on you so badly. If I wasn’t leaving tomorrow I would ruin this relationship in a couple of months because that’s what I do.”

Her mouth was so close to his he could feel her breath on his lips. She wasn’t letting go of his face so he kissed her. It was enough to touch her lips with his so he kept it light and struggled not to crush her to him. 

Claire was feeling the energy from his kiss. He moved them into a comfortable kissing position and they just kissed and enjoyed the close proximity.

“This reminds me of high school when we would kiss for an entire afternoon,” she giggled.

“Is this helping Sassenach?”

“I don’t know because I can’t remember what we ...” 

She kissed him halfway through the sentence so it took some time for her to say it. Jamie could feel his resolve slipping and he held her tighter as he deepened the kiss. Sending them both into the higher plane of arousal. 

“Sassenach.” He held her cheek and brushed his thumb across her lips. It is borderline torture at this point. Are ye feelin better?” 

He watched her deer-in-the-headlights look and he loved her vulnerability. She was soft and sensual, giving into her crush and delighting him with every kiss. Jamie took a deep breath and pulled himself off the couch. He took a long sip of his drink and watched her fuss with her clothing that had shifted with their kissing. 

“Well, I should go.”

“Thank ye for makin dinner Sassenach.”

She stopped and looked up at him. “Why do you call me that?”

“It’s… yer British accent. Sassenach means outsider.” 

“I see.” Her wide eyes were telling him a story of her fear that she would miss him and that it would hurt. Her vulnerability was killing him and he threw caution to the wind and kissed her again. No more push back, his hands explored her body again until he picked her up and carried her to his bed. His kisses were intense and she was panting his name while pushing his shirt up. Jamie shook his head hard and stayed her hands. 

“I will see ye to your car or ye can stay all night with me, it’s yer choice mo chridhe.”

She pulled her shirt off and pulled his head to her. She hated sleeping with other people in the bed but sacrifices had to be made and she believed this would solve her problem. 

Jamie took his time. Removing each piece of clothing followed by kissing and tasting the newly exposed skin. He pulled his shirt off and felt her nakedness against him, and kissed her some more, wanting this to last as long as possible. When he entered her they both groaned with the exquisite feeling. He watched her eyes and kept his strokes slow and deep. She arched her back and ground her pelvis into his thrusts, pushing her legs farther apart. “Harder Jamie, right now.” Jamie picked up his speed and felt a pleasant bump in his arousal. Claire grabbed his face and pulled it within an inch of hers. She was panting and looked him straight in the eye.

“I know what you want, I want it to. I say we exit Sunday school and fuck like champions. Let it go, baby. If I say, uncle, I stay for another month. Jamie was too close to his orgasm and this opportunity would not be wasted. He got up and ordered her to stay as she was. He dropped his body within an inch of hers and pressed his forehead to hers.

“I’m takin a shower so we can start over lass. You can opt-out of this and just turn on yer side and I will spoon ye to sleep. It’s a wise choice. Stay in this position and I will rock your world.”

Jamie grabbed a tie on his way back to the bed. He was smiling and excited she had not opted for sleep. Once the blindfold was on he spun her into an erotic tornado with his tongue, and fingers, pulling her so high and placing light kisses on her breasts and stomach while she floated back. Jamie twisted her beautiful body into positions of extreme pleasure and brutal penetration making her come again. Just before his release, he spun her back to face him and removed the blindfold. He kissed her deeply and watched her eyes as he thrust into her soft wetness before going rigid in his release.

“My God yer fun. No ‘uncle’ so ye must sleep mo chridhe, yer plane leaves in twelve hours.” He pulled her into his chest and pulled the quilt over them. Ordinarily, this position would shoot Claire right out of bed and out the door, no matter what she promised. Tonight, she felt comfortable and drifted off to sleep. Throughout the night, Jamie would reach for her and pull her back to him, running his hand up her leg or down her arm before falling asleep again. 

Jamie’s eyes opened at five in the morning, his automatic wake up before his rounds started at six. He tried to pull his arm out from under Claire without waking her but she moved into him and threw her leg around him. Not a word was spoken. He pushed into her body and savored every moment, knowing he was falling in love, and she would never come back. When he emerged from the shower, she was gone.


	2. Chapter 2

Jamie ran to the shower and thought about how to say goodbye to the Sassenach. His shower was twice as long because what he said had to be perfect. If she wouldn’t stay maybe he could convince her to come back.

Claire’s mind was screaming at her to get up and get away before things got awkward. Still coming out of the orgasm haze, it was difficult to think clearly. By habit, she evaporated, stumbling to the door as she ordered an UBER. 

Sinking into the front seat she felt a little safer, but from what, she wondered? That question was pondered right up to her front door and the answer was grim and devastating. It didn’t fit in the landscape of her life, and it threatened the foundation of her neatly constructed existence. Safer from herself was the answer and it rattled her to her core. It was like she was suddenly split in two. One side was arguing for love and commitment, the other side shouted for independence and freedom. Opposing sides meant she could be wrong about living without her heart and that was starting to feel like a threat. 

Claire was in the grips of a panic attack that included the fight or flight reaction. She wanted to run and save her own life…from herself. The phone called her attention away and thankfully it was Geillis.

“Claire! I took the day off to help ye, are ye ready for me?”

“Yes! Please hurry and let yourself in, I’m getting in the shower.”

Geillis had knocked on Claire’s door the evening before, planning to spend the night on her couch but she never came home, and her phone was turned off. Geillis was not surprised Claire would grab every possible minute of fun, even on the eve of her departure. She got busy taping up her boxes to be shipped and filling out labels to Honduras.

“Stop Geillis! I haven’t pulled my clothes that I’m taking in a suitcase!”

Claire pulled the boxes open and filled a suitcase of clothing to wear while she waited for the boxes to arrive. Geillis knelt on the floor so she could start over while Claire pulled her field pants on, tucking in a white t-shirt and lacing up trench boots. This last-minute chaos was her comfort zone and kept her mind off Jamie Fraser. It was helping, she was feeling in control again. She would be fine, she decided, once she was away from Scotland, she would never think of these people again. She prayed to find a gorgeous sexy doctor on staff in Honduras that she could lose herself in.

The doorbell made her gasp and blush crimson as she looked out the peephole. The sight of Laoghaire was a relief, or was it a disappointment? The argument in her head raged again making Claire feel insecure and fearful. What if she was wrong about love? What if she was leaving Jamie behind based on a faulty decision to disconnect and just have fun. The panic attack came roaring back and she had to get to the airport before something tragic happened. She looked at the UBER app on her phone for almost a minute. 

“I think we’re ready Claire. I’ll come back for the boxes this afternoon,” assured Gellis.

“Good, let’s go.”

Claire sat alone waiting to board. Calming, deep breaths were doing nothing for her shaking hands, racing heart, and mounting nausea. She pushed back on the tears that burned her eyes. Get me out of here, get me out of here, get me out of here, became her mantra until the plane was high in the air taking her to a new life.

A new book, a sketching pad, her laptop, and maps of Honduras were piled on the seat next to her, ready to occupy her time and keep thoughts of Jamie away. She tipped the steward lavishly, so he never let her drink go dry or the peanuts run out. In between each activity, she found herself staring out the window, reliving the night before when they talked so honestly and loved without limits. By nightfall, she was drunk enough to fall asleep for the rest of the trip. 

The reverse thrust of the engines and a hard break pulled her from sleep as the plane was coming to a stop. She was in Honduras and the plane had landed without someone waking her to put her tray table up and return her seat to the upright position. She glanced at her lap, not even a wake-up to put her seat belt on. Grabbing her carry on and purse, she walked to the front of the plane where a group of men were trying to get the door open. 

“Excuse me, please. What is happening?”

The man in front of her glared at her suspiciously and didn’t answer. Claire spoke to him again in almost perfect Spanish and he did not bother to turn around. She sighed and found a seat to watch the men try to open the side door and deploy the chute. Apparently, Honduras Airlines would get you to the airport, but you had to find your own way off the plane. She rolled her eyes feeling the heat and humidity flow into the cabin now that the air conditioners were turned off. Thirty minutes later the door opened, and she shot down the chute, drunk once again after helping herself to the drink tray while she waited.

Landing on the hard ground Claire gathered her purse and suitcase but was unsuccessful at standing up. She wondered if she could sleep for just a bit on the puffy sides of the chute. She bent to lay her head down and saw a familiar hand in front of her face. 

“No, Claire, sleeping on the tarmac is not allowed. Have no fear my beautiful friend, your bed is near.”

Strong arms pulled her up and grabbed her suitcase as thoughts of Jamie’s biceps, back, thighs and butt, filled her head. She looked at Joe and smiled in gratitude. For the next thirty minutes, the open jeep bounced through the jungle into a pitch-dark night. 

“Claire sweetheart, you are too quiet. Are you feeling sick? If so, just lean over and let it rip.” 

Claire looked up at his disembodied voice and could not see even an outline of where he was. She crossed her arms around her stomach and closed her eyes.

“There it is baby girl, your home for the next twenty-four months.”

She looked up feeling a rush of relief there were lights ahead. I can do this, she thought, we have light to feel safe in this primitive place. When the jeep finally stopped, a gorgeous man came around the jeep and kissed Joe soundly, moaning as they embraced. The men separated and Joe made the introductions.

“Claire, this is Kevin, Kevin, this is the super nurse I told you about.” 

Kevin smiled and stuck out his hand, but Claire was too polluted with alcohol to remember to turn her head. The next movement she felt was Joe hoisting her over his shoulder and she struggled with her nausea as he walked to her room and dropped her on the bed. She was so close to hurling she kept her eyes squeezed shut and waited for the lovers to leave.

Her misery had no equal, waking every hour or so to stumble outside and rid her stomach of its contents, dripping wet with clothing clinging to her. This continued for what felt like several months, if not a year. It was actually a single night of puking into the jungle, severe anxiety when awake, and her broken heart reminding her of the most incredible man she had ever known. As dawn broke over the jungle, the blood-curdling screams of the monkeys brought her out of her dreams, sitting up wide-eyed, looking for an escape. Dropping to the soaking wet mattress, with a throbbing head and churning stomach, she decided she landed in hell and kept her door locked for the rest of the day and night.

Someone pounded on the door and Claire bolted upright trying to control her ramming heart. She was disoriented and the knocking got louder forcing her to find the door by feeling along the wall. 

“Nurse Beauchamp! We have casualties. Report to triage, on the double!”

Casualties? What the fuck was he talking about? Why is he so rude, he doesn’t even know me?

A loud kick at her door made Claire jump, pulling the door open. The hallway was crowded with hospital personnel running in both directions. She stood, open-mouthed and wide-eyed, shaking from head to toe. A familiar arm came around her waist pulling her out of her room and rapidly forward. 

“We have casualties Claire and need you to do triage for the surgeons. I’m sorry to throw you into the fire baby, this was not expected. If you want to live another day, it’s time to save lives, Claire.”

“What?”

Joe pushed her into a large room full of crying people on liters or the concrete floor. She held her head and assessed the most gruesome and life-threatening injuries she had ever seen. Pure terror filled her heart and she felt her feet moving forward. Sinking down to the floor, she assessed each body and sorted them into three groups. Those that would die within thirty minutes, those that would die in three hours, and those that were already dead. A young Honduran male assisted her in moving the bodies into the three groups.

A warm hand came down on Claire’s shoulder, dripping with blood. A strong voice asked her to identify the groups. Claire looked up at a beautiful face, eyes that held compassion and strength, and she felt safe suddenly, as long as he was near. 

The man knelt in front of her. “Did you just get here? Don’t answer, I can see that you did. Let me explain. This is unusual but the casualties are from an attack on a nearby village, for food and supplies. The resistance gets more powerful and bolder. These are innocent people. Farmers and merchants that are being exterminated throughout the country. Do not speak to any of the villagers, ever! The resistance hates the US and UK. Don’t let them know you are English speaking. It will keep you safe. What’s your name?”

“C..Claire Beauchamp.”

“Welcome aboard, Beauchamp. What is your specialty”

“Trauma and neonatal.”

“Perfect…you are with me for every shift. Just look at the surgery schedule. Anywhere you see my name, that is your shift. Am I clear, Beauchamp?”

“Yes, clear sir. What is your name?”

“Cutter Anderson.”

“Looks like two in your first group have expired. Get the kid to move them to the dead pile.”

The man was running toward the surgical wing, he was out of sight in two minutes. Claire felt the deep quaking and jerking of her body and hands. Her tongue stuck to the roof of her mouth, so she pointed at the newly dead gesturing toward the pile of bodies and watching the young assistant pull them away. Knowing her time to save the deeply wounded was short, she gestured to the young man to move them into position of greatest need for immediate surgery. Other people came with liters to carry them away, one by one. She saw the extent of pain and misery on the remaining group and ran to administer pain killers, dressings, burn treatment, and stabilizing IV solutions to keep them alive.

Her misery, fear, and heartbreak forgotten, she spent the next thirteen hours at trauma level assisting the villagers. When the last body was placed on the liter, heading for surgery, she collapsed in a corner and stared into the empty, bloody room. She was covered in sweat and blood, barely feeling Joe pick her up and carry her to the communal shower where he pulled her shoes and clothes off, down to her underwear. Cool water covered her, and Joe pushed her head under the water stream. Claire tried to protest but gave up to the ministrations of her best friend who seemed to know just what to do.

“C’mon sweetheart, hold still while the water brings your temperature down. Jesus Christ Claire, you were amazing. I expect the personnel will part like the red sea for you after that shift. What was that baby? Home? You want to go home?” 

He kissed her cheek with a smack. “You don’t have a home, so you're stuck with me.” 

When Claire cried, he could feel the shaking start from shock. He pushed her hair out of her face and held her close under the cold water. Claire sobbed and called out for Jamie. Joe tucked her into bed and laid down next to her so she could feel him holding her and hear his breathing. During the night, her body stopped shaking, and the drenching sweat returned, Joe slipped from her bed to look for Kevin. 

Claire was ripped from a deep sleep nearly jumped out of bed from the loud kicking at her door. “Not again!” 

She pulled the door open gasping for breath, holding her arm in front of her eyes from the glaring light in the hallway. A breakfast bar was shoved into her hand as the man barked, she was needed in surgery. 

“Dress Beauchamp, I’m waiting to escort you to surgery.” When he saw her eyes glaze over, he brought the volume up, “on the double nurse!”

Claire was shoved into a sterile gown and a cap that instantly soaked into her scalp. She scrubbed for gloves and was pushed into the OR to assist with a premature birth while the doctor worked quickly to save the mother. 

“Ready Beauchamp? Two minutes and you’re in a race to save this baby. Good luck.”

Claire felt like she was in a dream. She looked around the surgical room for another doctor to assist with the baby. It was her and Cutter Anderson, no one else. She looked up at the doctor wide-eyed and questioning.

“You are all she’s got, and you’ve likely seen the procedure many times. You know what to do, so do it.” 

Claire grabbed a blanket from the stack and held her arms out to receive the tiny body. When the doctor dropped the lifeless baby into her arms, she felt the strength of ten men galvanizing her into action. She cleared the airways and slapped the thigh of the baby hearing the doctor roar, “harder! She won’t do this on her own. C’mon nurse, lay some pain on that baby or lose her!”

Claire heard quiet sounds from the baby and recognized the newborn was in distress. She felt her heart pound and her arms fly taking a stick of blood from the heal, listening for heart rate and wrapping the infant in warm blankets. Her lips were still blue, and Claire called to the doctor for intubation and respiratory assist. 

“Get her ready, I’ll give you two minutes of my time for intubation. Get the ventilator and monitors ready in the incubator, get a surfactant replacement ready for the breathing tube, and hurry!” Like an after thought, “treat with eyewash before taping the lids closed.”

“Ready doctor!”

He jerked his head up and saw the equipment arranged, baby’s eyes taped shut and the glowing incubator. He took two steps and had the infant with a breathing tube down her windpipe in one minute. The baby was unwrapped to expose her skin to the UV lamps that would consume the extra bilirubin built up in her blood. The infant showed no movement and Claire was scared to death. 

“Assist please, Beauchamp. I need you to grab the clamped blood vessel under the uterus. I can’t hold the organs away and grab it, You ready?”

They tried twice and the patient was losing blood pressure rapidly. 

“Come in front of me and hurry.” 

Once Claire was in front of the doctor, she felt him breathing into her hair and pressing into her back. His long arms came around her and lifted the organs up. Claire saw the blood vessel and grabbed it, locking the forceps to hold it.

“Awesome, you just saved this teenager's life, good job.”

The doctor’s arms opened allowing Claire to move away. She watched his practiced hands move swiftly, and ten minutes later the abdomen was closed, and a transfusion was pumping life-saving blood into the woman. 

“Excellent job, nurse. I could cry with relief that we have someone of your caliber.”

Claire thanked him as he backed into the scrub room pulling his gown and gloves off, looking exhausted. Claire returned to the baby and pulled a new glove on one hand. Sticking her pinky into the mouth she lightly rubbed the roof of her mouth waiting to feel the tongue make a connection and start sucking. No response and her heart fell. 

Claire ran out of the OR right into the hot wet air of the hallway reminding her that the surgical rooms were cooled to control bleeding. She was slick with sweat in mere minutes, asking people where doctor Anderson was. 

“Who?”

“Cutter! Cutter Anderson.”

Someone pointed to the shower room and Claire bounded in coming face to face with a naked doctor. Her shock was obvious, and the man kindly turned around and asked what she needed. 

“Ah…stom…stomach tube in the baby…please. I’m sorry to burst in here like this.”

Claire could feel her blushing face, like fire on her skin. But when he turned around, she allowed herself to study his tall, muscular frame. Nothing close to Jamie’s physique, but impressive nonetheless. She tried to imagine running her hands up his back or feeling his body pressed into her back as he did in surgery earlier. 

“I’ll get the tube in. Give me five minutes nurse.”

Claire was locked in her head and was still staring when he turned around. Seeing his eyes lock on hers she jumped and ran away, hearing the good doctor laugh behind her. 

The city of Edinburgh was like a gem to a farm boy raised on an ancient estate in the country. He couldn’t get enough of the castles, culture, and preserved lands where great battles were fought, and courageous men died. His first look at the city each day set his mood of wonderment and happiness which lasted throughout the day.

But not now, because Jamie opened his office like a zombie. What did he think? She would change her plans, her personality, drop her fear of intimacy and become a trusting perfect woman after one night in his bed? Every spare minute during the long day Jamie was beating himself up mentally. He tried very hard to hate her, and remember the empty bed, her cold-hearted escape during his shower. The minutes played with his head as he tried to act normal with his patients. The office staff asked him several times if he felt ill. He finally said he had a migraine and the sympathy of his team felt like a warm blanket. Why couldn’t you leave me alone Sassenach? You are heartless.

From one until two o’clock his anxiety grew until he could hardly speak to anyone. He could feel the rumble of her departing plane shaking him on the inside, he finally asked the office manager to cancel all appointments for the rest of the day. 

Jamie poured a whisky and sank into his couch, remembering how she pressed into his face confessing she was hopelessly crushing on him. 

The irony did not escape him. For over a decade he lived without commitment and emotion so he could perform the job he was given and meet the rigors of medical school. Sadly, it became him, self-reliant, focused, and sometimes ruthless. The attributes that built a successful practice were gone. Compassion, empathy, sincerity, concern, and willingness to serve others, once seen as weakness, were now required. He worked very hard at getting this back. The Sassenach was still learning to live without them. But her involuntary reactions like blushing, pupil dilation, respiration, and dancing with a fish, were collectively revealing her truth.

Jamie poured another whisky and tried to get some work done but he couldn’t concentrate. “I see, I’m not miserable enough for ye.” He stared out the window at the heavens and drained his glass before pouring another. When the walls started closing in on him, he tossed his gear in his truck and left. Two days in the woods would clear his mind and on Monday he would return a new man, he decided. Deep inside he prayed this was true. He found no value in this purgatory so he would think her away.

Jamie felt stronger the closer he came to Lallybroch. When the landmarks of his youth came into view, he smiled at the comfort they provided, exciting him to get as far and high as he dared over the next two days. Pulling his pack onto his back sent a message to his brain; prepare for the pain. A subconscious trigger from the weight of his pack, and years of training opened the flood gates of adrenalin, increased respiration, and engorged the muscles that would stabilize his body as he climbed. He felt alive and in tune with the woods and soaring rock. He was ready, and that made him happy.

When the sun started it's decent, Jamie found his favorite campsite and set up for the night before heading to the stream for his super. He was ravenous and consumed two energy bars to stem the shaking in his hands while he fashioned a rod and tied his hook and string. Back against a rock where he wouldn’t cast a shadow on the water, he pulled his book out to enjoy reading while he still could. Three pages was the longest interval between fish. Dropping two gutted fish back into the water for breakfast, he returned to camp and his dinner. 

With a full belly and exhausted muscles, Jamie laid under the stars and decided this must be what drugs feel like… sublime, until she showed up. Like a shadow, she was always with him if he cared to look, and the sole purpose of this trip was cutting her loose. Paying close attention to his feelings, he summoned her to him and imagined her sitting by the fire. The first thing he felt was fear and he sat up abruptly and shook his head. That was impossible! Preposterous because fear was a stranger to him, yet there it was. I don’t live in fear, he thought, of anything, especially a one-hundred-pound girl. He could accept the feeling of loss, concern for her safety, or hurt that she did not want him. There were a multitude of feelings he would accept, but fear was not one of them, yet there it was.

Jamie went back to the beginning of their short twenty-hour history, working forward in his memory he could not find the fear. The night pressed into his brain with soothing sounds and smells. Like a mother’s lullaby, it made him sleep, dreamless until the first rays of morning touched his skin... like a sledgehammer. 

Resuming his uphill climb, he struggled from the get-go, needing multiple rest breaks to breathe and let the sting in his thighs pass. Frustration imposed and he finally gave up when he found one of his favorite meadows where he could nap in the sunshine. Why was this so hard today he wondered, refusing to acknowledge the answer screaming in his ear. He finally took ownership of how he felt and surrendered, before walking to the stream to fish for his luncheon with fear. Once he was full, he turned a deadly eye on his guest and ruthlessly pulled the truth out of it. In his mind, he was ferocious toward the fear but when he saw Claire his stomach flipped, and he felt weak. The stark contrast told him something subconscious was fueling his attachment to her. It wasn’t sex, or her fabulous personality, her daring nature, or her vulnerability. This was no easy thing to flesh out and he felt defeated and frustrated, so he packed up and kept walking. Fear was easily keeping up with his pace, gaining in strength as Jamie was losing his own. “Christ almighty,” he growled, and looked for the next meadow to think some more. He laid back in the sun and napped while his subconscious gained the upper hand and presented the problem. Don’t expect her to go away and leave your heart, it said. You are connected to her for life, it is destiny for you both, you have no say in the matter. Jamie struggled to wake up, somehow knowing it was a dream and ready to wage war on the answer. You have lived many lives together and will continue to do so as the ages pass.

“Enough!”

Jamie sat upright, hearing his voice shout out to no one. Suddenly, he felt like a miserable pile of putrid emotion and anger, polluting this pristine landscape. He packed up and started the climb down. There is no supernatural, he thought, no soulmate, no destiny, and I am arguing with my own mind! 

The first remedy was a substantial glass of whisky once he got home, and then another. He decided they would find teeth in his brain when he was autopsied in fifty years or so. Teeth of a twin that never developed and he would have been the stupid twin now exerting his foolish ideas while Jamie slept. Jamie felt the warm shower rinse his toothless twin away, laughing at his conclusion. There were thousands of women right here in Edinburgh. He will supplant the unforgettable Claire with little effort and be better for it. He was calm and relieved when he dropped into bed.

Claire was so freaked out by seeing the doctor in the shower that she forced Joe to engage her in conversation near the nursery to avoid interaction with the doctor. The baby’s survival hung on minutes now, she would start the supplement for her sustenance the minute she was tubed. 

Joe asked why they were fake talking outside the neonatal room. After explaining what happened, seeing the doctor naked, he gripped his knees and bent over laughing, releasing a spontaneous fart that brought color to his dark cheeks. 

“Jesus Claire, it’s co-ed, and I guarantee you will not get through a shower without a dangler walking in.”

“And what would be a dangler?”

Joe extended a finger at his crotch and wiggled it while he tried to contain his laughter. Claire rolled her eyes just as the doctor was exiting the room. 

“Good to go, nurse.” 

“Oh yes, he is definitely stalking you now Claire.” It was Joe’s turn to roll his eyes. 

“Shut up you idiot, it was my embarrassment, remember?”

Claire made a disgusted sound and pushed into neonatal to finally feed the tiny survivor. Waiting an hour after the feeding, she did the critical testing for neurological, heart, lung, kidney, and heel sticks for blood chemistry. Hours later, she read the disappointing results and braced herself for a likely end. Claire ran her fingers over the baby’s skin and held her tiny hand. Her eyes hurt from being open too long and she felt her tongue stick to her cheeks. If she did not do some self-care soon the baby would lose her only advocate. 

Doctor Cutter Anderson walked into neonatal at three o’clock in the morning. He knew the baby was too young to survive without a dedicated team of neonatal specialists. It was only a matter of time, so he braced himself before each visit. Claire laid on an extended lazy boy, sound asleep. Cutter could see her phone ticking down for the hourly alarm, his impression of her was growing. He smiled at her and appreciated the private time to really look at her. “What is such a pretty girl doing in this hell-jungle?”

Cutter covered Claire with a thin blanket to avoid excessive mosquito bites and left, turning off the light. When Claire felt the vibration of her phone she struggled to remember where she was as she sank back into her dreams. She was lying on the forest floor as sweat dripped off her from the stifling heat. It was difficult to take a breath of the hot, humid air. Cold drops of water sprinkled down on her shoulders making her gasp with the contrasting temperature. When she opened her eyes, Jamie’s face was right above her, smiling. The tie covered her eyes and she went to the blackness. 

The phone vibrated again and woke her from the haunting dream. “Go away Jamie,” she whispered, “get out of my head.” She completed the feeding while dozing and gratefully returned to the lazy boy, hoping Jamie did not invade her dreams. Or did she hope he would? Her exhaustion took over before she knew the answer.


	3. Chapter 3

Jamie dragged through his rounds at the hospital bleary-eyed and stumbling to his office, where he was scrutinized by his office manager. If he had been coherent he would have noticed this look as a first warning, he was out of control. Instead, he locked himself into the office and sat back in his chair to doze until called for his first patient. 

He knew it was time to pull back, get more sleep, stop acting like a teenager with a new dose of testosterone short-circuiting his brain. He remembered his call to an old buddy, John Grey, with an offer to get re-acquainted. It was an attempt to strangle his broken heart by finding something, anything, to make Claire Beauchamp fade away so he could be happy again. 

“John! I havna seen ye in a long time, wanted to call and catch up with you. Are ye free for a drink on Friday night?”

“Give me an hour, and I will be.” 

An hour later Jamie read a message from John, “see you Friday night at Mickey’s, can’t wait.”

It was too easy to slip into a new existence, a comfortable camaraderie with an old friend who knew all the hot spots and fun places to be on the weekend. The two friends were deadly together. Both strikingly handsome in different ways, both hungry, and both drew women where ever they went.  
Life was going by so fast for Jamie there wasn’t time to check in with the toothless twin in his head, so he ignored him. 

He had begged off Jenny’s invitation for dinner so many times she was getting huffy about it. She left a scathing text message that drove Jamie to cancel with John next weekend. Either that or his sister would come into town and drag him home. 

Driving to Lallybroch with a great bottle of whisky made him happy he was going home for the evening. It was late July and he saw groups of children playing as he turned down his street, bringing memories back of doing the same with his faithful friends. The estate looked great with all the fields growing full and healthy, almost ready for the harvest. 

Jenny came out of the kitchen door, arms wide for her brother, smiling brightly. Jamie hugged her and handed over the bottle of whisky, noticing her approval. It was a wonderful evening, Jamie played touch football with Jenny’s boys and Ian, his childhood best friend. The rules of no tackle were ignored with the first pass and the men laughed and fell down, while Jenny dissolved in laughter. Jamie had introduced Lallybroch to American football after returning from his year at Columbia. It was great fun for the whole family and Jamie was in his happy place. Hearing the hum of a car and wheels crushing the stones on the driveway, he looked up to see a gorgeous Jaguar, top down, with an auburn head of hair behind the wheel. The neighborhood friends had joined the game and eleven kids hit him at once, crashing him to the ground. 

Geneva stepped out of her magnificent car and laughed at the pile of kids that were rolling off as a big man pushed to his feet. She hugged Jenny and laughed at the funny kids. When her eyes landed on Jamie she smiled and waved at him. Jenny yelled dinner was ready and made the introductions when the men were coming in.

“Jamie, this is a friend of yours from grade school, Geneva Dunsany.”

Jamie looked at the Irish beauty with the crystal blue eyes and dark hair and felt his world tilt. He remembered her, a snooty little brat who lorded over the other kids because her teeth came in early and her family was rich. Now that she was grown up, demure and blushing, Jamie took a new inventory and his interest grew through dinner. They took a long walk after supper that was interrupted by his ringing cell phone. 

“I’m sorry lass, one of my patients is in labor and close to delivering. I must go. I promise to send Ian to get ya because I have to run.”

“I know how to run Jamie.” She removed her heels, “let’s go.” Geneva took off while he was still contemplating what she said. He smiled his approval and caught up with her. When they approached the kitchen, she said goodbye and ran directly into the house, shoes in hand.

He stared after her and then peeled out of the driveway to deliver a precious baby that was already deeply loved with a promised life of affluence and support to be its guide in this new world. As Jamie checked in on his patient, he heard her husband coach her expertly and gave him a thumbs up. The labor and birth were textbook perfect, and he handed a very blessed son to the waiting father. 

When he dropped into bed he thought about Geneva, happy she had grown up refined and tolerant. He called her the next day and got more excited as the weekend grew near. She was impressive to look at and her conversation was both stimulating and warm. He was hooked, and with Jenny’s encouragement, soon Geneva was all over his life. Her family loved him. A doctor was a very good catch indeed, so they welcomed him and paved the way for their daughter to solidify the union. 

Claire woke up with an aching shoulder and gently pulled her hand out of the bassinet next to the Lazy Boy. The baby seemed less distressed at night when she felt a warm hand on her skin, so Claire obliged any night she wasn’t pulled into surgery by Cutter. She yawned and stretched before preparing a bottle of formula and thought her heart might explode seeing the tiny girl smile at her. 

“Oh my God, a gift for me, sweetheart.” Little arms moved a bit in the air but laid still from exhaustion after a few minutes. Claire held her and looked into the sweetest eyes as she offered the bottle. The mother was released two months ago and had not been back to check on her daughter. Claire’s heart broke to know she was abandoned, but it didn’t stop her from giving constant attention to the baby. 

“I think it’s time to name you princess. Luna is perfect for a miracle baby. Do you like it?”

The baby was sound asleep. She didn’t have the energy to drink the amount most babies do at four months and a full belly was like knock-out drops. Claire put her in the bassinet and wandered outside to the picnic tables to relax. The trees and high foliage had been cut back to lower fire damage to the hospital so she could see the sky and the brilliant full moon. She gazed at it and thought about Jamie looking at the same moon. It was a momentary connected to him. The pictures were pulled out of her lab coat pocket and she looked through them by the light of the moon. Everyone looked so happy and dressed up, having a fabulous time at her going away party. She looked at Jamie’s smiling face and her heart hurt. “Be well handsome,” she whispered into the night. Leaning back she sighed and closed her eyes, just before a screeching animal dropped on her face. 

Claire screamed and batted at the thing, feeling it jump behind her head and pull her hair. She was terrified, running around trying to knock it off when she felt the thing jerk away from her. She spun to see Cutter wrestle with the animal and shout when it bit him. The monkey shrieked and tried again to bite but was knocked to the ground and ran away. 

“Jesus Cutter, how bad is it?”

“It’s nothing, but I could use some treatment, do you mind.”

“For my hero, anything.” 

Claire looked at the bite and steered Cutter back into the building and into a treatment room. She washed the bite with Betadine and giggled at Cutter’s face grimacing with the sting. She handed him a sterilized gauze so he could assess the damage from the little monster while Claire ran for Penicillin. 

“Drop the drawers handsome and lean forward.”

She stabbed him in the ass delivering a five CC payload of antibiotics that would bring Hercules to his knees. She kept an arm on his back while she massaged the stinging medicine in his butt. She could hear him suck his breath and growl.

“Don’t be such a baby, Cutter. Do you want me to blow on it?” 

“Well yes actually, that would make it much better,” he choked out between giggles.

“Sorry, I only blow the patients now, so on your way soldier.” 

Cutter turned around and kissed her on the lips, ducking quickly to avoid her fist and laughing at how easy she was to assault. They had been glued at the hip for the last four months, forging a bond professionally and personally. Both knew they would walk through fire to protect and save each other. 

A month after arriving, Claire came onto Cutter. He pulled her into his lap and looked at her like she was a fine treasure. He ran his hand down her leg and told her he was honored and excited she had chosen him. Then he explained that his estranged wife had made contact with him, and he couldn’t touch another woman if he was to share his life with her again. Claire didn’t feel disappointed, but she was curious about his fidelity. 

“Tell me about it, please”

“About what?”

“Why did she leave? Did you want to control her and change her views on life? You couldn’t stop so she would stay?”

He looked at her for a long minute. “Is that what happened to you, Claire?”

“It always happens, that is how relationships are, and I rebel.”

“Not a shocker, sweet-pea, and you’re wrong about relationships. You aren’t old enough to have had more than one or two. You should never feel oppressed or held down by your partner, just the opposite. He should encourage you to fly and succeed. Men who want to change you are insecure or narcissistic and they aren’t worth your time. Don’t settle. You are in the upper five percent in gorgeousness, spirit, and skill. You just wait until the perfect man comes along and be open to him. My best advice.”

Claire touched his cheek before going to bed. “Thank you, Cutter.”

She walked back to her room to clean up for dinner and thought about that conversation with Cutter. Since that night, her melancholy was permanently parked in her head. She needed to talk to someone on the outside and on a whim, she called Laoghaire who was overjoyed to hear her voice. They talked for a long time before Claire asked how Jamie was. 

Laoghaire assumed it was an old friend asking about another and happily explained her cousin was in a serious relationship and she expected them to marry someday. She described the beautiful and graceful Geneva as the perfect woman and Claire was finding it hard to breathe. When Laoghaire continued with details of Jamie’s relationship Claire clicked off and ran for Joe.

“Joe! Give me your phone.”

“What do you say, dearest?”

“Please.” Claire finally looked up and Joe saw the tears and pain in her face.

“Anything for you love.”

Claire sent a text to Laoghaire that her phone went dead, and she will catch up another time. When she handed the phone back Joe pulled her outside, where she gave him the sad story about leaving Jamie after two amazing days. Her confusion that started right after their time together, and her struggle to forget him. She cried so hard people were coming outside to check on her, only to see Joe’s warning to stay away. 

He felt so sorry for Claire. She had arrived a different person and Joe could not get her to share anything with him. This was a bomb going off in her life, making her talk because the pain was overwhelming. He held her against him and told her she would not expire from this, but she would grow and find another love. He kissed her cheek with compassionate eyes when she pulled away to feed Luna.

When Luna was back in the bassinet sleeping peacefully, Claire could not stop her tears. She cried in the dark until the door opened letting the bright lights of the hallway flood into the room.

She hid her face while Cutter examined Luna and then he picked Claire up and stretched out on the Lazy Boy, pulling her into his side and pressing her head to his chest.

“Do you want to talk about it, Claire?”

He felt her head shake no and her sobbing continued so he just held her to him and they both finally slept.

For the next three days, Joe, Kevin, and Cutter took turns staying close to Claire. Her tears finally stopped but she walked around lifelessly and hardly ate anything. Cutter worried because she didn’t have any weight to lose so he pushed Ensure milkshakes at her and pestered her to drink up. On the fourth day of her sadness, Joe suggested she text or call Jamie and then kissed her goodnight. 

Claire laid in the dark Lazy Boy and stared at her phone. Before she could stop herself, she typed… wishing you the best, would love to share a phone call, CB… Send.

Jamie struggled through another night of insomnia staring into the dark, listening to Geneva breathe next to him. She had been testy all week and refused to answer his persistent questions about her mood. He felt trapped in a cage when she got like this. Like she wanted to torture him by not letting him leave and not acknowledging his presence. He might find out in a few days and he might never know what set her off. He only knew he felt miserable and wanted some space. 

Jamie picked up his vibrating phone and squinted in the dark. He got out of bed as quietly as possible and heard Geneva swear under her breath and sigh loudly. He read the text and was calling the number in less than a minute. 

Claire tried to slow the ramming in her chest and sound normal when she said hello. The first few minutes were awkward as Claire was running to her room so she wouldn’t disturb Luna. When her door closed it was just her, Jamie, and five thousand miles between them. 

“You don’t have a sleepy voice, were you still up?”

“Aye, sheet boxing with my insomnia. Are ye well Sassenach?”

Jamie’s head was whirling at this surprise and he had a moment’s thought to control the conversation and end it quickly, which he was helpless to do. Instead, he walked around his living room, kitchen, and outside where he walked the streets with the phone pressed to his ear. They filled each other in on the events since they last spoke. Jamie was amazed at the conditions she lived in and his story made no mention of Geneva. Was he sparing her feelings, or did he not want to open up to her?

“Well, it was great talking to you, Jamie. I am due to feed a baby, so I have to go.”

“Sassenach, why did you call me tonight?”

Claire was uncomfortable with her answer but remembered standing in the stadium parking lot and Jamie’s request for honesty. 

“Sassenach?”

“Because I am still crushing, after all this time. I spoke to Laoghaire and she said you’re getting married and I fell apart. I’ve been crying for four days and I just wanted to hear your voice and tell you I’m sorry for leaving the way I did.”

“Sassenach,” his voice was barely over a whisper. She felt his voice wrap around her just as the tears were coming.

“How can I help ye?”

“Will you Skype with me, next week?”

“Aye, I will.”

“Thank you, Jamie. Goodnight.”

Jamie stared down at his phone for a full minute. He wasn’t confused or conflicted, and he didn’t believe this was more than a young girl feeling lonesome tonight. It changed nothing for him because she was never coming back here. Maybe this was the first night without a date for her, making her feel insecure and alone. Whatever it was, he wasn’t biting and doubted there would be any Skype next week. 

Laying back on the couch, Jamie felt tired, of everything. He remembered the first time he touched Geneva and the excitement of pulling each piece of clothing off her. She was modest and kept him skin to skin, pulling his shoulders up when he tried to taste her. To date, she was still receptive, only in the dark and allowed only conservative positions, pulling Jamie into an orgasm by the shortest means possible. Sex was part of his benefits package. Something she gave, under the right circumstances, but seemed not to take. It was easy in the beginning because he liked her intelligence and the way she looked. Time will reveal all if you’re willing to wait and after four months, her true nature was clear, she was still that mean little girl. 

This was the task before him, putting Geneva back in her box without causing a scene that would reverberate through Edinburgh and land on his patients. He was ready to spend another weekend in the woods and suddenly felt better. Another doctor would take his calls for the weekend and he could disappear tomorrow afternoon after his last patient. He slipped into his exhausted sleep and his last thought was kissing Claire on this couch, a long time ago. 

Claire was thriving on the adrenalin and happiness that Jamie did not hate her. She blew through the weekend with renewed energy that was noticed by everyone. Luna responded better, her coworkers were happy with her banter, and the patients were more cooperative. Cutter and Joe did not like the change in her. It was a quick fix of some kind. She had not put the work into this miraculous recovery which meant it was fake and she would crash again.

Cutter called to Claire, it was time to go and watched her practically skip to the jeep. He exhaled and rolled his eyes declaring open season on Claire’s secrets and intentions. After a long day visiting the outlying counties to administer shots and general well exams they piled back into the jeep and headed back to the hospital. Claire was tired but undaunted as her personality emerged, happy and strong as she stood in her seat and danced with the wind her hair to a favorite song on the radio. She was so alive, uninhibited and free. Cutter laughed, wondering if this was the real Claire or her bipolar opposite. 

“Stop!! Please stop. Is that a pool through there? Back up, pretty please?”

Cutter threw the jeep in reverse and looked where she pointed. It was a pool indeed, attached to a resort that looked abandoned. Claire jumped out of the jeep and ran into the bush, getting closer to the iron fence. Cutter looked around warily and called her back just before he heard a splash. 

Running to the gate he saw it was open. On the inside, graffiti covered almost every wall and structure. His heart started to pound as he walked quickly toward the pool, looking for Claire. He started waving her toward him, but Claire had mischief on her mind, he could see it in her face. He said nothing until she swam to him, naked except for her underwear. He reached in and grabbed her around the waist, pulling her up as he started running back to the jeep. His grip was brutal around her waist and he ignored her protest and request for her clothes, left where she shed them. She was practically thrown into the jeep with Cutter’s eyes giving a directive she could not ignore. He spun the jeep in a circle and a death-defying race back to the hospital was underway.

Claire barely got her seat belt on before she was launched from the jeep. Cutter was unbuttoning his field jacket and pulling his arms out of it as they were bounced and jarred from the speeding vehicle. He held it toward her, and she was buttoned into the garment as the jeep came to a screaming halt at the hospital. Claire jumped out and ran for her room before anyone saw her in Cutter’s jacket. 

She pushed against her bedroom door, panting for breath. The knock made her jump and she saw the doorknob twisting from someone outside.

“Just a minute!” 

“Claire! Let me in.”

She opened the door to see Joe, looking angry, and the doom crept into her. 

“Why did you do it, Claire? Do you care so little for his happiness?”

Claire looked at him wide-eyed and shook her head. 

“What are you talking about, Joe?”

Cutter is only waiting for his commitment to be up. He’s going home to start fresh with his wife. Now you’re half-naked and so is he. Did you seduce him? Was it worth it?”

“Jesus Joe. No, nothing happened, and your boy is unmolested. I spotted a swimming pool on the way back at some spa or something. It was vacant so I jumped in. Cutter came at me like a crazy person and hauled me back the jeep, almost killing us both on the way back. What the fuck was that place Joe?” 

Jamie sat at the kitchen table drinking coffee and reading the paper. It was seven o’clock and he was back from doing his rounds to wait for Geneva to wake up. He was calm and excited to get out of town later today. 

“Jamie! I didn’t expect to see you this morning. What is going on?”

“I wanted to tell you that I’ll be leavin this afternoon for the weekend. I’m sorry it’s such short notice but I haveta go.”

“We have dinner with my parents tomorrow night, any chance you’ll be back for that?”

“No lass, sorry.”

“So, what the hell do I tell my parents?”

“That I left for the weekend. It’s time for work, maybe we can have dinner on Monday.”

When the front door closed Geneva tried to calm down. This was ridiculous and she was living in constant frustration. Jamie held her at arm's length from the beginning. She couldn’t talk him into any more than three days a week and she didn’t even have a pair of shoes in his closet. It was time for her to let Jamie know she wanted more. A ring on her finger was a good start, or she was walking.


	4. Chapter 4

Claire pulled her mascara wand out and it was dry. Damn she thought, I don’t suppose there’s anywhere to buy makeup around here. She threw it in the waste container and dabbed on some lip gloss. The laptop was set up on her small table and she dialed the number with shaking fingers. She sent Jamie a text early in the week asking to Skype on Friday night. She wondered how he would get away from what’s-her-name, but he agreed so she didn’t care.

Her laptop flickered a couple of times and then he was there, smiling at her like she was right in front of him.

“God made eyes that color for one person only Sassenach.”

“Who?”

“Ye of course. How is it going over there? Is the hospital in a safe zone?”

“Sometimes. The second night I was here we had casualties from a raid nearby. Quite an initiation.”

“What kind of work are ye doin there, do ye like it?”

They stared at each other and their mouths moved but the action was happening in the heart. Jamie felt himself slipping back under her spell and Claire wanted to tell him about all the feelings, wars, doubt, and capitulation she was going through. They kept the conversation light.

“How can you be so far from the laptop and I can still see you clearly? 

“I use my smart TV, and you are life-size as I watch ye.”

“Wow, that is awesome. Tell me about Edinburgh.”

And so it went, the benign conversation of two people in love that were not willing to expose themselves to the other. They would both feel the immediate vacuum sucking them out of the happy zone the minute Skype was closed. 

They talked every week on Friday, afternoon for Claire, evening for Jamie. A package arrived for Claire and she ran to her room to open the box, so thrilled because it could only be Jamie who sent it. She pulled out a state-of-the-art laptop with a seventeen-inch screen and an exceptional camera. It was loaded with trending software and numerous picture files of his football team, Lallybroch, his camping trips, the fish he caught and the amazing sunsets from the top of the world. The card was handwritten; For the Sassenach, to remind ye of civilization and Scotland. I hope it makes ye happy. Claire hugged the card to her chest and rolled her eyes when someone knocked on her door. 

“Claire! Let us in!”

Joe grew impatient and Claire finally opened the door to both of them. Kevin’s eyes lit up when he saw the new technology and he rushed to the laptop to investigate.

“It’s just lovely, I think Jamie is more than a friend all of a sudden.” 

“No, it’s a friend present, nothing more. He is getting married, remember.”

“What, so he’s gonna Skype with you all the way to the alter?”

“Something like that.” 

“Hey, he set up a gmail for you and sent a message.”

“Really? Claire rushed to the laptop to read it.”

Sassenach, I dinna ken yer email and I dinna like to wait.   
Send me a picture of the jungle! JF

Someone was knocking on the door but this time she could hear the urgency and pulled the door open. 

“Report to OR on the double, Doctor Anderson is waiting.”

Cutter had already completed ten hours of surgery today, and so had she. She closed the door behind her and ran to the surgical wing. For the next two hours, she, Cutter, and another nurse, worked hard to save a young man who came in with a meat hook stuck in his abdomen. Claire was clamping blood vessels as she found them, her arms deep in the abdomen, hands, and forearms covered in blood as they raced to stem the bleeding from multiple ruptured vessels. She and Cutter on opposite sides of the table, both suturing tissue as fast as they could. 

Claire was the last to leave the OR and she was exhausted as she pushed into the scrub room and pulled her gown and gloves off. She held onto the scrub sink like she could collapse any moment and closed her eyes with the water running in front of her. The room was dimly lit, and she washed quickly so she could collapse in her Lazy Boy. 

Joe’s phone had a high megapixel camera and he was quite good at using it. The close-ups he took of Claire, her eyes tired and grim, as she leaned over the washbasin on her forearms. Asleep in the Lazy Boy with her hand on Luna, surrounded by villagers, all needing something, were telling the story of Claire’s existence in this place.

Kevin joined the cause and had a folder full of Claire in action. Cutter was recruited to catch Claire with her two favorite men, Joe and Kevin, goofing off and teasing each other. 

Joe recognized the signs of a man in love and sent Jamie the photos from Claire’s new laptop while she was working. 

Claire pulled her new laptop closer and dialed Jamie. His face looked different, contemplative, and Claire’s heart rate shot up making her feel weak. He’s going to tell me he’s getting married she thought. Her instincts were shouting for her to disconnect. When you don’t want to hear something, don’t listen. She stared at him with wide eyes and he stared back.

“What is it Jamie, you look different.”

“Sassenach, I dinna have words to describe what your pictures showed me.”

“What?”

“Ye are the bravest lass I’ve ever known and the strongest. I had no idea what life was really like there. I am in awe of ye lass.”

“So far, you have not made a lick of sense Jamie. I didn’t send pictures to you. What are you talking about?”

“Well, someone did it for ye. They were in my email yesterday.”

Claire grabbed her phone and checked the sent emails, there were numerous emails to Jamie with picture attachments. Claire opened them and flipped through the pics with mounting concern. 

“Jesus Christ, I wasn’t aware these were being taken, or sent. I’m sorry Jamie. My friend Joe had a very bad idea. I was not aware.”

Jamie leaned closer to the camera, “this is the real you as ye go through the day. I have an accurate account of the struggles ye face. Your work in the OR, yer haunted eyes when yer about to collapse and those two guys who hang on each other and make ye laugh. It’s incredible what I’ve learned about ye with these pictures. Yer amazing Sassenach.”

Jamie’s comments broke through her fantasy of killing all who conspired in this clandestine photo shoot. She heard compassion, pride, and love in Jamie’s voice. She looked up at the camera again and suddenly felt overwhelmed with love for the guys and appreciation for Jamie’s reaction. 

“Ye dinna ken how special ye are, or how much ye deserve the best life. I…I will be happy to know ye finally get it, Claire. I feel emotionally invested somehow, please agree to be my video friend or pen pal for life. I’ll always wonder if ye don’t.”

Claire was surprised at Jamie’s reaction and she tried to rally her friend-face, control her expressions, and maintain composure in front of the camera. She looked into his eyes and wanted to shout at him that she was more than a friend. Jamie’s words were hitting her like bullets because he was now an observer trying to help her somehow, not harboring his own crush. At that moment she subconsciously jettisoned away from him, to the place she had been since the video calls started. In a box of his acquaintances he would remember from time to time. 

Jamie continued to sing her praises and Claire did her best to cover the disappointment and hurt from misunderstanding his interest. She tried to rally but finally begged off with an excuse to feed the baby.

“Until next week Sassenach, take care of yourself.”

Claire slammed the lid on the laptop, “like you’re my psychiatrist or something? No thanks, I’ll be my own support thank you. If this is your entertainment to share with miss perfect, you will have to find something on television from now on. I am out.”

When Jamie saw the blood drain from Claire’s face, he knew she was completely in the dark about the pictures. That made it even more real for him and he silently thanked Joe for letting him into their world. No wonder she couldn’t settle in Edinburgh, it would be like putting a gorgeous butterfly in a jar, to slowly die from the lack of flight. He was deeply troubled that he had touched a dream girl, his dream girl, and the world had no equal. 

The door opened and he looked at Geneva, here for a night of cat and mouse, and he was the mouse. He took a deep breath and suddenly wanted to be in a meadow, full of fish, where he could spend time with his memory of Claire and say his truth. 

Jamie rose from the couch and kissed Geneva, promising a five-minute shower before they left. But the whole time, he was missing the girl who danced with a fish in his kitchen. 

Claire looked at Joe with a laser sight on his fertile brain and fantasies of torture danced in her head. Joe retreated and disappeared before she got to him. She would have followed him, but she was pulled away by an unexpected visit from Luna’s mother. 

Claire felt her tears drop onto her shoulders making her scrubs wet. She was always afraid this day would come, her miracle baby leaving with her biological mother. She pulled the baby to her and kissed her cheeks, repeatedly. She assembled multiple bags packed with food, diapers, blankets, and supplements that would sustain her. She would send her away and never know what happened to her and that was breaking her heart. Cutter pushed into the nursery and looked at Claire with compassion.

“Let me take her Claire. Kiss her one more time, then give her to me, he said quietly.”

Luna held Claire’s hair and yanked it trying to get her mother’s attention, the only mother her infant life knew. In her limited world, one face had always been there to give love and smiles and food. Claire broke down and Cutter pulled the sweet baby from her, pulled the bags of supplies onto his shoulder, and then left. 

Claire sank into the Lazy Boy arms wrapped around her stomach and cried like she was mortally wounded. She bent over and her tears puddled on the linoleum floor. Her heart was breaking and there was no comfort to be had, just misery, her miracle baby was gone forever. 

Claire laid curled up in the Lazy Boy and wondered how much grief one person could take in a day. “UNCLE”, she whispered, “no more for today.” The room grew darker as the sun set, and Claire remained until the door opened and a hand pulled her into the lighted hallway making her squint painfully. The hand pulled her forward and outside where it was easier to open her eyes.

Claire looked at the picnic table with a lantern on it and looked up at Cutter. 

“What’s this?”

“A request from Joe, to get you talking and forgiving before you end his life for the pictures.”

He pushed her onto a bench and sat across from her with his hands folded on the table. 

“Shall we begin, I rather like Joe, so let’s figure this out together.” 

Cutter smiled and waited patiently.

“What? Um, I was mad at him for sending the pictures to Jamie. It was a sweet gesture, but it brought out Jamie’s true feelings for me and I was mad about that. I have the right to punish Joe because he’s my best friend.”

“What true feelings did Jamie reveal?”

“He wants to be pen pals, or video pals, so he will know when I find happiness. He doesn’t want to wonder about me for the rest of his life.”

“Jesus Claire, you had to let go of Luna right after that?”

“She wanted and needed my attention as I got her ready, but I couldn’t stop crying. I miss her so much already and I will never know what happened to her. I can’t take not knowing, Cutter.” 

She stopped abruptly and looked up at her friend. The comparison of the two statements sinking into her brain. Her eyes got wide as she compared Jamie’s statement to her own. She loved Luna with her heart and soul, and it broke her heart realizing she will never know how she was. Could Jamie feel the same about her? She stared straight ahead and climbed out of the picnic table. She patted Cutter on the shoulder but missed and patted his face as she left.

“What about Joe? Can he come out of hiding now?”

“Mission accomplished soldier, he’s safe.”

Claire had a strange look on her face, but it wasn’t sorrow that Cutter saw, it was more like she just figured out the double-helix of DNA. Something wondrous.

Claire laid on her bed for the first time in four months and sighed deeply. Whatever Jamie felt for her, was big, that she was certain of. She will keep Skyping on Friday nights and maybe send an email occasionally if there was something exceptional or interesting that happened. 

Jamie climbed in a thickly wooded area with a punishing pitch, feeling strong and healthy, as long as he didn’t start thinking. The woods were healing him of the past months of partying, drinking to excess, dealing with Geneva the shape-shifter, and his little Claire showing her heart and comfort to him. Breathing deeply in the crisp mountain air he felt capable of anything. Later in the afternoon, he laid back in the sun to rest. Winter was well on its way and pushing through his comfort limits, so this would be his last trip for a while. He would miss his time out here in nature. He paid dearly for it with Geneva but he didn’t care, it was bringing him back to who he really was. 

Claire sat down next to Joe and across from Cutter at dinner. They had been in this medical camp for nine months, she could hardly believe it. The guys were displaying an air of excitement and fist-bumping Joe, well, Kevin was giving cheek kisses and Cutter did the bumping.

“Wow, I’ll bite, what is all the excitement about?”

“Jamie entered one of my pictures of you in a competition, and I won!” Joe was laughing. “Something Apple was doing to promote the camera in the new iPhone. Pretty cool, ha, and I get ten grand for first place!!”

“Jamie did that for you? Interesting. Whatever would make him even think of such a thing?”

Claire stared at Joe, letting him know she would not look away until he explained himself. She was making him antsy and nervous so this would not take long. 

Joe sighed and told Claire about the photo lab tech who blew the picture up for Jamie asking all kinds of questions about the camera. 

“He called me, told the lab tech it was an iPhone camera, tech said put the picture in the contest, he did, I won, and that’s about it.” 

Claire picked up her tray and stood up, “Imagine that.”

The three men gaped at her as she walked away. They didn’t know what to expect from her, but it wasn’t that. 

Claire smiled inside wondering how Jamie and Joe became telephone buddies. She was the common denominator and that’s all that mattered to her. She wiped the sweat off her face about to say goodnight to the guys when she thought of some cool relief.

“Cutter, remember that swimming pool I jumped in and you morphed into the incredible hulk?” What was that place?”

“Cutter looked around the room thinking about honesty versus a good night’s sleep for her. “It was my overreacting is all. I thought it was something different.”

“I do believe that is first time you have lied to me Cutter. I’ll ask again, what was that place, and…be honest.”

“It’s a rebel stronghold Claire. The attack on the villagers when you first got here, was perpetrated by that group.” 

Claire’s eyes went wide, and her voice panicked, “they’re right here in our backyard? Jesus Christ, it’s no more than a few miles from here! If I had been caught in that pool they would have killed me, wouldn’t they?”

“Drop it pea,” he growled. “That’s enough on the subject.” 

Cutter left the table cursing himself for telling her, thankful he left out the torturous death of women prisoners. They would have made it last before she drew her last breath and he would be dead trying to protect her.

Claire stared straight ahead, trying to wrap her head around their proximity to the enemy. She shivered with a full understanding of Cutter’s reaction that day. 

“Jesus Christ,” she whispered. 

Joe had heard things, from the villagers, delivery drivers, and the news when they could get it. He had already put in a request to get them out of there. It was first come first serve and everyone was bugging out of Honduras. He intended to talk to Claire and Kevin tonight about leaving their post before replacements came. It was feeling creepy around here and his instincts were screaming it was time to go.


	5. Chapter 5

“Finally! I thought Friday would never come. How are ye Sassenach?”

Claire tried to smile and laugh but it was a pathetic attempt and Jamie’s trained eye was instantly sending a warning that something was wrong. Her eyes darting around the room, pale skin color, hand at her neck, and pupils dilated. 

Claire watched Jamie look at his lap for a minute, he was writing something and quickly held the note to the camera. IS SOMEONE THERE? 

“No.”

“What has ye so wound up Claire?”

Jamie wasn’t smiling. He was watching all the subconscious indicators of Claire’s health, body and mind.

“Probably nothing. It feels weird around here the past couple weeks. We usually see patients from morning till night, with a line clear out the door sometimes. The villagers stopped coming. It’s like we are a medical staff with no people to treat. I’m a little scared by it is all.”

Jamie’s voice took on a tone she had never heard, and it sent shivers up her spine. 

“Claire, I want ye to leave and head for the airport as fast as you can, understand sweetheart?” You have good reason to fear. All of you need to move out at first light.”

“Why are you trying to scare me, Jamie!”

“Sassenach, listen, I know something about this, it was my job for six years. If ye’ve ever taken a leap of faith, do it now.”

“Why? Tell me why, and I’ll do it, Jamie.”

“Because I love ye Sassenach, from the top of your head to the soles of your feet. I know I canna keep ye so don’t get scared and run away.” Jamie lowered his voice and stared into her eyes. “This isn’t about getting you back to Scotland, it’s about getting ye and yer friends out of the country. You must hurry and send me updates every hour so I can track ye.”

Claire watched his mouth move but heard nothing after “I love ye.” She watched his clear eyes get close to the camera as he was making a point about something. She giggled at him with stars in her eyes. Jamie stopped his tirade and looked at her face blushing like a spring rose, teary eyes, a big white smile, he knew then she was on a different page than he was, maybe a different planet by the looks of her.

“Sassenach, what’s the last thing I said?”

“You love me, Jamie?”

“Oh my God, lass, yes.” He spoke just above a whisper, “and by the looks of ye, that makes ye happy, does it nae?”

She almost seemed catatonic but shook her head yes. 

“Listen to me, Claire. I need another seventy years to tell ye I love ye and I promise I won’t hold ye down, but ye have to survive getting to the airport. Promise me ye will do as I say.”

Claire seemed to snap out of her reverie. Her eyes got wide and panicked, “What do we do Jamie.”

Jamie repeated the instructions to leave at first light for the airport, take the first flight out of the country, anywhere safe, and send her location hourly if she could.

“Charge yer phone right away then keep it on you in a secure pocket. Get Joe, Kevin, and Cutter ready to leave with you. Take the keys for one of the vehicles so it canna be taken by others and fill the tank tonight. Passport, money, credit cards, and phone, leave the rest. Do you understand, love?”

“How do you know all this stuff?”

“If ye promise to follow my orders, I promise to tell ye. Go and get yer friends ready. I love ye Sassenach.”

Holy shit she thought! Feeling her hands shake, she forced herself to push away from the fear and jumped into fresh field pants, black wife beater, pulling a black t-shirt over that. She zipped her freshly charged phone into a pocket.

Claire opened Joe’s door and crept into the room squatting next to his bed she called to him quietly. He jumped violently and she immediately silenced him holding both his arms. 

“Please Joe, shh! You must wake up. Something bad is happening…”

As Claire woke Joe and gave him instructions, the front door of the hospital opened and something like a bowling ball rolled into the hallway, silently making its way until it stopped, made a clicking sound, and exploded. 

The sound was deafening, and Claire was slammed into the wall and dropped to the floor. She screamed until her lungs were empty, grabbing at Joe and pulling him out of bed. Two more explosions were heard toward the other end of the building, and then the screaming started, followed by machine gunfire. 

Claire was so scared she couldn’t move. They were trapped in Joe’s room with Kevin who had just entered. It would be like shooting ducks in a barrel, so any chance they might have was worth the risk. Kevin grabbed Claire pulling her screaming out of the room seemingly directly in the line of fire. She struggled against him and felt him pick her up by belt and arm as he launched her into the laundry shoot headfirst. 

Claire was in utter shock, grasping for the slippery sides of the chute, trying to slow her descent until she was free falling into a large pile of bed sheets, towels, and gowns. She rolled off feeling the pressure of the two men falling onto the laundry after her. They had all done many shifts down here and ran for the only exit door from this level. 

Again, Kevin grabbed Claire and ran with her outside toward the edge of the vegetation. There was a twenty-foot gap between the building and the jungle. Claire ran, hearing the screaming from inside the building and several shooters outside to pick off runners. 

She expected it, she waited for it, just as the vegetation touched her lower legs, Joe threw her to the ground and laid on top of her, ”sh!” 

They were much too close to the hospital. When Claire felt Joe yank her arm up, she knew to bolt. Joe held her and Kevin’s hand to prevent separation as they took off. With every step, he felt more confident until Claire’s hand was ripped away from him. The jungle lit up like it was daylight and Claire was in the air, spinning until she came down in the brush.

Kevin yanked Joe hard to the ground and put his hand over his mouth. They were frozen that way until the giant light went off and men were yelling in Spanish. The rebels pulled the light for another fifty feet and lit up the dark looking for running bodies.

Joe was crying and whispering, “they shot Claire.” Kevin begged him not to move and stay quiet. He put his arms around Joe for a minute and squeezed with all his might. Joe rolled away from him, crawling in the direction she was moving. Kevin stayed low as he searched close enough to hear Joe. The unmistakable sound of fabric ripping brought Kevin close to Claire, he felt the ground and found her body. 

Kevin was choking on his need to sob. It was right in his throat and if he took one more breath it was coming out. Just before he felt he would pass out from holding his breath, a tiny voice bounced off his eardrum and he exhaled quietly. She was speaking to Joe! He felt Joe flat on the ground, Claire was inching towards him. Kevin grabbed her hips and hoisted her on Joe’s back. In minutes, they were running again, except Claire, who was hanging on for dear life with one arm.

They stopped to rest, and Claire climbed off Joe’s back, telling him no when he tried to get her back on. 

“It’s not bad Joe, it went straight through and missed the bone. It hurts like bloody hell so I’m going to make a sling if you help me. I can run.”

She got her t-shirt off and handed it to Joe, who created a tight sling in a matter of minutes. It eased the pain in her shoulder, and she started running forcing the men to follow and stop nit-picking about her injury. Kevin pointed them toward the rocky hills, praying they were going in the right direction. The night was so black they could easily get turned around and run right back into the hospital. None of them knew how long they ran but when they stopped to rest, Claire pitched forward unconscious. 

“Listen to me Joe, Kevin’s mouth on Joe’s ear. I know there is a cave along this side, I’ve seen it. Stay with her, lay flat if you hear anyone coming, and wait for me. He kissed Joe hard on the mouth and took off along the hillside. Joe held Claire in his arms and pushed her hair away, praying Kevin would hurry. 

Jamie went from one site to another on the dark web, looking for news about Honduras and there was nothing. So why didn’t Claire answer his text messages and calls? It started out with a desire to calm her down after his show of force during their Skype call, but when she didn’t answer he became concerned. 

He was about out of his mind with worry when the Central America Hot Zone site jolted him to his feet. “Christ,” he whispered. It was a preliminary report about an attack on a hospital. He read a little more and knew it was Claire’s hospital. Jamie ran outside and jumped in his truck. 

Hearing the door slam shut, Geneva sat on Jamie’s bed fuming with anger. Did he forget she was here? She looked down at the new teddy she purchased today for this very night and planned to keep a low light on just for him. She could feel he was somewhere else for weeks. At first, she played her usual card, nose in the air, pissed off, no communication. Then he started leaving on the weekends to camp or something. The little time he gave her during the week was rushed and he was in no mood for sex. “This is ridiculous.” Geneva changed her clothes and left the teddy on his bed, then went home. She figured he would be at her door in the morning with flowers and an apology.

Jamie headed for Lallybroch at triple the speed allowed and parked away from the house so he could approach in silence. He pressed against a fake wall in the barn and grabbed his bug-out bag, then replaced the wall. He left as he came, in silence. 

Jenny stood in the dark of her room and watched her brother run away from the barn. Somehow, she knew and crossed herself praying for his safety. 

Hot cocoa and a blazing fire was Jenny’s cure for insomnia and worry. She deployed both and rocked herself into memories of the past when Jamie’s life changed forever. Since he was a lad all he wanted to do was be a doctor and heal people. He had the intellect but sadly not the money to fund his education. When he learned that the government would pay for his training, he made an appointment at the local recruiting office. Ten hours the first day, and ten hours the second day, testing the whole time. 

She remembered him sitting with their da at the kitchen table explaining the benefits of the program, how he scored, and how many different people he had to test for. Most importantly, they would send him to college and medical school. The arguing raged for days and then one morning when they got up, Jamie was gone. It would be two years before they would see him again. In the interim, there were extravagant gifts for Christmas and birthdays, and cards sent from all over the world. 

Jenny knew nothing of what Jamie did, no one did. She assumed he was a soldier of some kind because he left soon after his military testing. The one thing he would say when asked is that he worked for Scotland. Why is he goin again, she wondered and pulled a shawl across her cold shoulders. 

Jamie pulled everything out of the bag on his kitchen table and shoved batteries into his communication device that would encrypt the code he entered and continue to morph the code until it was received. He scribbled his questions, writing the code below the letters. His fingers flew over the keys on the device, request ground extraction Honduras 3 male, I female, deadly force. gr-ex-hdrs-m3,1-df Send.  
He watched and waited. With wide eyes and a ramming heart, he saw the response, N, NS. Neg, no sanction. Jamie was stunned. It took a full minute to consider the alternative and called the one person who might agree. Jamie needed a sniper to clear the way so he could find Claire and the others. 

“Low, sorry …meant... heeelllo.” 

“Christ are ye drunk?”

“No.”

“CAH support, NS”

“Ahh, Mexico is so beautif…. damn phone drop, oh, shit I kick it, where did it go?”

Jamie had clicked off. The drunk idiot better show up in Mexico in six hours, ready to fight, he thought. He gathered his gear and headed for his clinic. It was almost light; the babysitter would be there soon.

She was vetted by four countries, hired and paid by someone unknown. Gorgeous, with a full set of attributes that made her job doable, if not easy. She knew all the doctors in the area on a first name basis and would reschedule Jamie’s patients among them for as long as he needed to be away. Speaking of the invisible group they both worked for had a penalty second to shooting your commanding officer.  
Still, Jamie teased her once. They were alone, the clinic was locked so he asked how he would know she wasn’t working for the other side. He was joking, she was not. “Because you would be dead…long time ago.” she said as she walked back to her desk. 

He kept dialing Claire and looked up as the office manager came in. She looked at him, “How long?”

“Five days, I hope.”

“Have a nice trip doctor.”

Jamie put his ball cap on, and the physician gave way to the soldier. 

Joe was getting scared because he couldn’t wake Claire. He felt the pulse in her neck, it was weak and thready. He could see the glow of the sunrise on the horizon and knew they would be exposed in a very short time. He felt a hand grab his shoulder and pull him up. 

“Jesus I’m glad to see you. Did you find the cave?”

“I did. It’s a bit of a climb but it will be a safe place to regroup and get Claire on her feet. Let’s go.”

When Joe laid Claire on the ground in the cave, he took his first look at her shoulder. It was serious, and her wife-beater was soaked with all the blood she had lost and was dripping onto the ground. They were exhausted, so when Kevin pulled him to the ground, they slept.

Claire's vibrating phone pulled Joe awake and he scrolled through the numerous calls from Jamie. He answered the call. 

“Who is this! Joe! Is that you? Please tell me who ye are.”

Joe heard the voice on the other end, in Scotland, safe, no idea what they had been through during the night. He couldn’t speak. He couldn’t bridge that gap. He knew Jamie loved Claire and here she was dying. How could the world get so fucked up so fast?

“STATE YER NAME,” Jamie roared into the phone.

“Joe.”

“That’s a good lad. Is Claire there with ye?” 

“Yes, but she’s in a coma, Jamie. She’s been shot and she won’t wake up. Tremendous loss of blood. She will die and we can’t get out of the cave.”

“Yes ye can laddie, I’m close. I’m on a fast boat from Mexico, very close, with ground transport waiting. Put the phone on the ground, please, and step away from it. I’ll lock yer coordinates and be there in less than an hour. Tell Claire I’m comin.”

Joe backed away from the phone just as Kevin came rushing into the cave after doing some reconnaissance. 

“Jesus, Joe they are everywhere, combing through the vegetation. I think they’re looking for us. They’re gonna know about the caves.”

“Quiet, before you scare yourself to death.” He nodded toward the phone on the ground, “Jamie will be here in an hour. We’re saved.”

Kevin had to actually walk in front of Joe to see if he was joking or just lost his marbles during the night. 

“If he doesn’t have an army behind him, how is he supposed to save us, Joe?”

“He didn’t say, but he sounded pretty confident.”

The men sat near Claire and quietly waited, both expecting to die in the next few minutes as they could hear the voices of the rebels shouting in Spanish.

Joe looked at Kevin, “I feel so bad we couldn’t get to Cutter. Do you think he got out?”

“No, he’s dead Joe. I saw them shoot him as I ran to your room.”

Joe felt like he was coming apart. It was too much for him to process and he couldn’t stop the tears from coming. For Claire, for Cutter, for everyone they knew and worked with all these months. He broke down and Kevin held him fiercely asking him to be quiet. Kevin knew their time was short, so maybe it didn’t matter. 

The rebels were getting closer. Kevin heard the loud directive from someone, “bomb the caves.”

Kevin pulled Joe close and kissed him like it would be his last. 

“I’ve fallen in love with you, handsome. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, deal?” 

Before Joe could respond the first grenade went off below them, then another, then another. They heard the loud machine gun fire pinging on the rocks and dirt flying outside the entrance.

“They want to scare us into running, makes it easier, and uses less resources.”

“Well, it also works, it’s taking all my strength not to run out that opening.” Joe looked down at Claire. “I would never leave you,” he squeezed her calf.

The gunfire stopped, and in the silence, the men harbored hope they were saved. The next explosion was so loud it made them both dive for the ground as dirt and rocks from above rained down on them. Joe covered Claire with his body while Kevin watched the shadow of a man walking toward them.

He prayed to God and filled his mind with his mother’s face, he still had so much to say to her. Both men watched the shadow on the rocks moving closer. The man was tossing a ball in the air and catching it, but it wasn’t a ball, it was a grenade. The other hand came up to pull the pin and the man lurched forward landing face down right in front of their entrance. 

“What the fuck?” Joe was looking at the half-headed dead man with the grenade still in his hand. “Did you hear a shot?”

“I heard nothing. Joe, I’m scared shitless.”

A large man dropped down from above with his arms raised.

“I’m unarmed, lookin for my girl and her friends, I’m Jamie Fraser.”

When he saw Claire on the ground, he dropped to his knees asking questions about the injury. She was burning up, so Jamie put a small round piece of plastic on her cheek and a minute later had a read on her dangerously high temperature. The velcro of his pockets ripped and a syringe was being filled with life-saving antibiotics. Jamie unclasped her pants and rolled her to the side where he plunged the needle into her scorching ass. He rolled her back and looked at her beautiful face for just a moment, then he was moving again. 

He stuck her finger and filled a stick of blood. Placing it in a special container to keep it upright. Connecting the container to a string, he stood up, spinning the tube of blood at the end of the string. He spun as hard as he could for five minutes until Joe jumped up and took the string, Kevin was next and after ten minutes they had a rough idea of her blood volume.

Jamie typed Claire’s blood and called out the entrance of the cave, “what’s yer blood type?”

Joe and Kevin almost fainted, pleading with Jamie to be very quiet.

Jamie stopped moving holding tubing and catheters. “Why, what’s amiss?”

“We’re surrounded by rebels Jamie, they want to kill us.”

“They’re gone, dinna worry.” He was moving fast again but felt the sudden tension in the air. He looked up and slowly behind him. The stock and silencer of a very large sniper rifle was inching into the cave.

“Put that gun down, ye dolt. This is my future wife in here fightin for her life and these brave men have protected her. What’s your blood type.”

The tip of the rifle suddenly pointed down and John Gray moved into the cave. 

“Sorry, I’m a bit cranky with a hangover gentlemen. Meant no disrespect.” 

Jamie was winding a strip of silver fabric around miniature forceps. He washed the wound and then packed it with the spirals of silver material. Joe and Kevin watched wide-eyed as he worked. When the wound was packed from both sides, he gingerly released the tourniquet and they all held their breath. No bleeding after five minutes, Jamie exhaled and sat next to his love. 

John wanted to give Jamie some time alone so he pulled Claire’s friends outside. “Come out here and I’ll show you where I killed everyone.”

Jamie looked at the girl who stole his heart in under twenty-four hours and thanked God he got here in time. 

“Sassenach, I’m here to get ye away safely. The guys are here, unharmed, so as soon as ye can, wake up. Ye need to drink whatever we can find. I’ll be givin ye a transfusion here in a couple minutes and ye’ll feel so much better after that.” 

The absence of Cutter Anderson was not lost on Jamie. “Rest in peace,” he whispered.

By nightfall, Jamie had given two units of blood and needed to eat and rest for a few hours. John offered to find the hospital and steal whatever food he could find, and then he was gone. 

“How can he do that? Just walk into the enemy territory alone?” Joe was in awe of both of these men. 

Jamie gave a lazy half-smile, “I pity the blokes that are still there. And by the way, ye owe me, aye?” Jamie laid on the ground next to Claire and closed his eyes. “Yer gonna promise me that if she follows ye again, it will be sandy beaches, perfect weather, culture, and things to learn”. He looked directly at Joe, “where she will never be scared like this again. Otherwise, I leave ye here.”

John came back loaded with food and water. As expected, the rebels had cleared out quickly, taking most of the medical supplies with them. The men ate in silence, each fighting the fears in their head, wondering how they would ever get out of there.

“Why are they so determined to kill us for Christ's sake? Haven’t they had enough with all the dead at the hospital?” 

Joe looked at the ground, not expecting there could be an answer, hoping it would become too risky to keep hunting them. John had killed at least a dozen of their men. Maybe it was enough to scare them away. 

“Plausible deniability,” Jamie’s voice was low and exhausted. “Ye witnessed the massacre. If anyone wanted to prosecute, which they won’t, you could hang them all with what ye saw. In other words, it’s not over.” 

Later, John sat next to Joe who was shaking hard, teeth chattering, and a glazed look in his eyes. When he felt for a pulse, Joe looked down like he didn’t understand. 

“Don’t be mad, dear boy, this is the cure to what ails you. Look up!” The knee jerk reaction to that command was to look up, and John blew white powder into his nose from an outstretched palm.

Kevin launched into the cave after relieving himself. “I fuckin hate going out there, I can’t see anything!”

“And they cannot see you,” John told him. “I am taking my post outside to give you all a secure lullaby. Can you sleep, or do you need help?” 

Kevin looked up at him, mid-yawn, “what?”

“Never mind.”


	6. Chapter 6

Jamie’s eyes slammed open. What the hell was that, he wondered. He wasn’t familiar with the local fauna, but he was quite sure something just crawled off of his arm. Christ, is it climbing on Claire?

Jamie pulled his mini light and rolled onto one elbow to check Claire. He moved the light over her arms, stomach, and legs but saw nothing crawling on her. He moved the light up her body and almost dropped it when he saw her eyes open.

“Sassenach! I came to get ye, don’t be afraid, it's me, Jamie. Joe, and Kevin are right here. Can ye say somethin to me?

He waited and tried to look relaxed and calm but watched her eyes. She stared at him with growing recollection and then closed her eyes and sobbed. Her hand latched onto Jamie’s arm in a death grip and rolled toward him crying into his upper arm. Jamie carefully moved closer to her and put the light between them so he could hold her with the other arm. He let her cry and told her everything was alright, he would get her out, not to worry. 

She looked up at his face and tried to touch his cheek with her good arm, but her hand shook violently, and she put it down. They just looked at each other for a minute before her eyes closed again and she was asleep. 

Waking up was hugely important, a genuine improvement in her prognosis. Jamie checked her heart rate and it was improving as well. She needed to wake up and drink, that became his mission for daybreak. He laid down touching her side with his. 

John stretched his neck and noticed his headache was finally gone. The heavy drinking the night before, followed by the mad dash to the rendezvous in Mexico had taken a lot out of him and he needed to sleep or would be of no use for Jamie tomorrow. It took almost an hour, but he secured a tight string lacing it through the rocks on both sides of the entrance that lead back to his position, then tied it to his finger. His rifle was set on its stand in front of him. He laid back against a rock and closed his eyes and was gone in under a minute. 

Before dawn, four men moved quietly toward the hill and climbed to the level of the cave without making a sound. They were given the directive to kill the escapees or be killed themselves. The man in the lead tripped the string and John’s eyes opened and focused in seconds, moving silently forward the laser sight was turned on the men giving him precious seconds to count them and shoot three while the fourth dove into the cave. 

Jamie heard the spit of John’s gun and was ready if one of the men breached the cave. He let the man get closer before running his flashlight up his body and directly into his eyes followed by his boot driving into his neck, crushing his larynx and dropping him. Jamie pulled the man up by his head and broke his neck. John’s flashlight beam moved to the dead man. 

“Sorry, I got three of them, but this asshole just dove in.”

“It’s good John, I heard yer first shot, I was ready for him. Including these, how many?”

“Fifteen.” 

“They arna done, they may never be done throwin lives at us to cut down until we run out of bullets. We need to move to a new location tonight. I will search for a place at sunrise and we move as soon as its dark.”

Jamie looked at John and remembered he was falling down drunk not thirty hours ago. “Get some rest John, ye must be dead on yer feet.

John popped a Dexedrine in his mouth and swallowed with water from a canteen. “I got a few winks. I set up a trigger line and it worked perfectly.” 

“Glad to hear it friend. If I was commanding that group, I would send a second wave, close enough to watch and learn before moving on us. I’d expect them soon.”

“Now that my trip line is broken, I’m glad I have these.” John pulled his night vision goggles on.

“You watch the entrance, I will watch the other side and above. I’m runnin a razor wire along the top as far as I can, and I’ll take any man close enough to reach. Two whistles, they’re comin from above ye, one, they’re comin from the other side.”

Jamie pulled his night vision goggles on and left.

John moved his flashlight along the cave floor and saw three people sleeping. “We are impressively quiet if I do say so myself.”

The only good thing about a pitch-black night is it’s easy to move around without being seen. Jamie was able to run the wire in a short time before taking a position on the other side of the hill. There was something coming, he could feel it, he was ready for it. He looked down and saw five men moving toward the hill on his side. Alerting John would take his eyes off the entrance. Jamie went low in the dark and waited for them, ducking when their flashlight beam swept the rocks. He let them turn toward the cave before he grabbed the last man in line, then the next, and another. One sharp whistle and John’s laser sight picked off the other two. 

Jamie and John pulled the weapons and bullets from the dead. The man in the lead was draped in grenades and one in his hand. The weapon pile was growing.

Joe heard Claire crying and felt his way towards her, whispering he was there. She kissed his hand over and over saying she thought she was alone and had dreamed Jamie was here. Joe held her hand and spoke quietly asking her to be silent. He laid down next to her and spoke close to her ear.

“Jamie is here Claire, he will get us out. He treated your wound and saved your life. He came with another guy named John, he’s a sniper and basically shot their way into us. I don’t think they’re in the cave so there must be rebels out there. Please don’t make a sound.”

Joe was happy with his explanation, but Claire was utterly confused. Her physician boyfriend, mild-mannered, shot his way into the jungle to save her? She heard footsteps coming and started to shake. When the cave lit up, she closed her eyes and remained still. She heard Jamie talking to Joe one minute then his large warm hands were on her cheek the next. He pulled her wrist to him and spoke to someone else while his finger pressed her pulse point. She was able to see the others and when she looked at John, he winked at her. 

“Good morning sunshine!”

Jamie’s head whipped toward her and his smile was blinding. He kissed her hand and set it down before grabbing a canteen. 

“I’m gonna help ye sit up, very carefully, so ye dinna start bleedin. I think we were able to save her arm, but it must stay still. Once yer up, ye must drink as much as possible from the canteen. Alright Sassenach, here we go.”

Jamie pulled her up slowly and asked Joe to sit back to back behind her. She raised the canteen and drank greedily from it. When it was empty she was still terribly thirsty and reached out for more. 

“Not yet Sassenach. You need more but ye must keep that down first.”

Jamie could see her blood pressure bottom out but had her firmly in hand before she passed out. He laid her down and wrapped the deflated cuff of his field sphygmomanometer around her arm to monitor her blood pressure. She had to start drinking, and soon.

Jamie left as soon as the sun came up, to scout a new location. He knew Claire would be limited in how far she could walk but it had to be far enough to give them just a couple more days. He planned to get the group to the ocean where they could hire a boat that would take them to Mexico. Jamie cursed the timing. His attempts to get support from his own group had fallen on deaf ears. The commander had gone dark eight days ago, so the request was sent up the chain of command. He knew why they were stonewalling his request because it was a rogue mission. He knew punishment was coming but, in the meantime, send a god damn helicopter, he reasoned. Jamie scanned the area, looking for anything that might shelter the group. The movement in his peripheral vision made him crouch into the vegetation and focus on the area. 

Ten minutes with no more movement pushed Jamie to continue. It might be dangerous to have the company of an unknown man, but there was little time so he would take his chances. An hour later, he was ready to turn around when he saw a perfect place and almost collapsed with relief. An abandoned barn with a second story hayloft built up against a wall of rock that was at least one hundred feet. It was an odd landmass to see out here like it didn’t belong, but it eliminated one side of entry for the enemy and he would take it. He ran to the structure finding a burned home on the property and not a speck of trash or graffiti that would suggest other people were here. It was perfect.

He turned and sprinted back, watching for movement ahead and slipping into thoughts of Claire that overshadowed his caution making him an easy target for the one waiting in the shadows. Jamie ran right by the man and was out of sight in minutes. 

The man stood from his crouch and turned around running smack into Jamie’s chest. Strong arms moved around him so fast he was completely helpless in seconds. Jamie spit on his finger and rubbed the man’s neck. 

“Yer Caucasian under all that filth so I’ll give ye three seconds to say yer name before I break yer neck. Times up.” Jamie grabbed the man’s chin and he screamed out to stop him.

“Anderson! I’m doctor Cutter Anderson, American, field hospital staff, please!”

Jamie let him go and stepped back. “My apologies doctor Anderson.” He looked straight ahead giving the man a moment to collect himself.

Claire opened her eyes in the dimly lit cave. She looked around and held her hand out to Joe who came to her immediately. He checked her heart rate and skin response, pleased at both. 

“Thirsty, Joe, drink now.”

“Ah crap, c’mon Jamie, hurry up. Claire, I don’t know if it’s safe to drink more yet, Jamie said to wait.”

“Jamie.”

She looked so confused Joe’s heart broke watching her struggle. 

“Claire, Jamie is here with another soldier who’s a sniper. John, the other guy, said they’ve killed twenty rebels who were trying to get to us. We’re being hunted Claire because we are witnesses to the massacre. We need to move from here tonight and Jamie is looking for a place to go. He will be back soon. Oh, no, Claire don’t cry baby, please. We’re gonna be okay so don’t cry.”

Joe held her good hand and told her stories of his youth, just to get her mind off their dire circumstances. If he looked at her eyes it threatened to break him inside, so he didn’t look. When Claire fell asleep again Joe went looking for John. He stood outside the entrance in the sunshine and waved his arms until he heard a thump behind him and spun around to see the dark eyes of John Grey. He was pushed unceremoniously into the cave with angry eyes a few inches from his own. 

“Do you want to be shot you idiot? They know where we are, they want us dead, they’re waiting for dark unless they get lucky and someone steps out and waves his arms. John brought Joe’s face right next to his with an arm around his neck. “Can’t you feel it, Joe? The air is electric, like static electricity, multiplied by the number of killers who lay in wait to gut you.”

Joe pushed away from John with murder in his eyes. He didn’t want to know. He couldn’t cope with knowing and he was losing it. Kevin grabbed him and pulled him away giving a sharp eye to John who pulled a piece of jerky from his pocket and started chewing. He sauntered toward the opening and walked outside. 

Jamie stood in front of the stranger, eyes forward, a granite chin, and waited for three minutes. 

“I must inform you that I will interrogate you. Answer me falsely and I rip yer throat out. If ye are no who ye say ye are I will send ye to hell in under a minute. Are ye ready sir?”

The man looked scared out of his mind but nodded yes. 

“The name of yer hospital?”  
“The date of the attack?”  
“How did ye get away?”  
“Who was yer scrub nurse?”  
“She had two friends, who were they?”  
“What is the baby’s name?”  
“Your nurse had a man who helped her, what was his name?”

“James Fraser, but how could you ever know if that is true?”

“Because sir, I am James Fraser.”

Instantly Jamie’s body relaxed, and he made eye contact with the doctor shaking his hand. “We will all want to hear about yer miraculous escape but first we need to get back.” 

“Back where, who is we all, what are you doing here Doctor Fraser?”

He could see the unbridled hope in Cutter’s eyes. Hope that someone else ran to freedom. 

“Claire, Joe, and Kevin are not far. It’s time to run so keep up.”

Joe and Kevin stayed close to Claire giving her what comfort they could. She cried most of the time making them both feel completely helpless to calm her. 

“Cutter. Where is Cutter?”

Joe ran his hand down her arm and held her hand. “I’m so sorry Claire.”

Her moan sounded like a wounded cat and both men pleaded with her to keep silent. Her sobs were racking her body, but she kept them quiet. Finally, her exhaustion took her away from the horrors in her head. Joe sighed in relief when he saw her eyes close. Kevin pulled him to the ground and held him still until he relaxed. They slept with Claire. 

Jamie was anxious to get back to Claire and his sprint was more than Cutter could sustain. Jamie knew the moment he fell and finally stopped. He walked back to Cutter and pulled him to his feet. 

“We’re close to the cave, so we walk silently.”

Jamie looked at Cutter’s pale face and sunken cheeks. “We have food and drink, ye’ll feel better before we put life and limb on the line tonight and bug out. He pulled the doctor along, very anxious to see Claire. Jamie whistled three times through his teeth and started the climb to the cave. Cutter looked up just in time to see a body drop down from the rocks, nose to nose with Jamie.

“Where have you been? Dinner is cold and the kids have been horrible, I’m going to my mother’s.” John spun on his heel and marched the small party into the cave. All three people inside looked up at Cutter wondering who he was and hoping he was here to get them out. Jamie dropped to his love and looked at her eyes trying to assess her presence of mind today. 

“Thirsty, Jamie, tell Cutter to hand me a canteen, please, so thirsty.”

Joe and Kevin stood up and looked closer at the stranger. After hearing Claire they had to look. 

A white smile spread across Cutter’s face and he grabbed them both laughing as quietly as possible. Incredulous faces, huge smiles, and shaking heads. Jamie pulled Claire up slowly and asked Joe to give her support, then eased her down on his back. Cutter dropped to Jamie’s side and winked at Claire. 

“I’ve never been so happy to see three goofy nurses in all my life, especially you sweet pea.” 

“No thanks to you, we had to escape on our own.” Claire suddenly stopped, Kevin saw them shoot you, how…how are you here?”

“A story for another time pea. Your boyfriend got the drop on me and seconds before he killed me, asked me some questions about you three. An experience I will never forget.”

Claire drank greedily from the canteen and Jamie’s hand pulled it away every other minute. When John called him, Cutter took the canteen from him. Jamie felt hollow watching Claire and Cutter and he kept them in his peripheral vision. Knowing Claire’s sexual appetite, he assumed Cutter was her lover and he needed to pound into the rock until he felt only the pain in his hands. 

“Steady brother. Are we leaving tonight, and will there be a duel for the lady?”

“Yes, we leave tonight. Claire won’t make it without resting. You take the others and I will hunker down with Claire, even if she has to sleep for several hours, we’ll get there and it will flush them out.”

“I’m down for another ten, just stay hidden and move when you hear the spits.”

They both knew there were eyes on the group every minute of the day. The fact Claire would move slower and build the distance between her and Jamie and the rest of the group, would facilitate them getting away without leading the enemy to their new door. Problem was, Claire was in the cross-hairs while she limped along. By the time the rebels were tired of her pace, they would need her alive because they lost the others. John would circle back and kill them all, leaving no witnesses to their direction. In a perfect world, this would work. 

Jamie was conflicted and had to clear his mind or lose it, before an impossible mission. 

“Cutter, come with me, I’ll show ye the route we’re takin. John, can we get some cover?”

“Better than the arms of angels gentlemen.”

It was starting to sink into Cutter’s reality, what Jamie wanted. He was a brave man to ask for a truth that could break him, but there he stood, just as courageous as he did against the enemy. 

“I need to know Cutter. I have nothin to forgive either of ye, we have never been exclusive. So dinna fear, she isna mine. I half expect her to follow Joe to his next post and wave goodbye at a Mexican airport. Please, don’t leave me to my imagination, it will be far worse than the truth.”

Cutter looked at Jamie, standing straight, eyes forward braced for the pain. In that moment, his admiration made it easy to tell the story of having Claire glued at the hip for the past nine months.

“She was my scrub nurse Jamie, we spent more time together than any two people on the base. I was blown away by her skill and courage in the OR. My wife, who left me about three months before I came to Honduras, made contact and we pledged our lives to each other again. I love that woman more than my own life and I am near coming out of my skin waiting to get home. Ten Claires dancing naked in front of me could not pull me away. Have you ever loved someone that much?

“Aye.” 

This was not what Jamie expected and he exhaled but remained steadfast. “Are ye sayin ye never touched her? You dinna love her?”

“Oh no, can’t say that. I remember seeing her, arms full of boxes, trying hard not to drop one on her way to the supply room. I couldn’t resist the opportunity, so I ambushed her, kissed her right on the mouth. Before I could get a safe distance, the boxes were dropped and she swung at me with a closed fist, almost knocking me down. She loosened one of my molars! She didn’t even say sorry, just stalked off to her room. The next day she glared at me through a very long shift in the OR.”

Jamie wasn’t feeling murderous now, he felt bubbling happiness and pride in the spitfire.

“The next time I kissed her,” Jamie leveled a stare at the man that suggested he was about to lose his life. Undeterred, Cutter continued. “I really believed I had enough time to move away from the fist. So I ambushed her again, from around a corner, laying a smacker on her lips and ducking quickly. I didn’t expect her lower leg would make contact with my balls and this time she put her nose in the air and left me on the floor.”

Jamie couldn’t help himself, he laughed at the image in his mind. He was flooded with relief and love for Claire that almost hurt. He looked at Cutter with such gratitude. 

“For the hundreds of minutes not accounted for in my little story, we were a team, I knew where she was every minute of the day. Aside from the two love birds she’s attached to, Claire spent her time with Luna, and came to terms with her feelings for you. Don’t sell her short Jamie. She has a wild spirit that wants to tether itself to the one man she sees as worthy. Let her come, don’t push her away. Are we good?”

“We’re good sir and thank ye.”

Jamie led the way to the cave and suddenly pushed back against Cutter to stop the progress inside. He entered silently and stood behind a man screaming at Claire to get up. Joe and Kevin had their hands in the air. Jamie slipped a garrote out of his pocket and when the man bent over to scream at Claire it slipped around his neck and slowly strangled the life out of him. The man was pushed along by Jamie’s knee as his body thrashed and his eyes bugged out. 

“Gentlemen, this maggot came here to kill ye, have ye got something to give for his troubles?”

Joe smashed his fist into the man’s face and blood gushed from his mouth. Kevin gave an impressive kick to his groin that pushed his balls painfully into his body and the man collapsed from the pain. Jamie dragged him outside and looked up for John while he strangled the rebel. 

Jamie heard John drop behind him.

“Jesus Christ Jamie, you were twenty feet from the entrance, I used the time to scout. How the fuck did this idiot get into the cave?”

Jamie gave a powerful tug sinking the wire deep into the man’s neck before he dropped him. 

“It’s my fault, John. I was distracted, it’s my fault.”

Claire had three men sitting close to her trying to cheer her up, but she kept her troubled eyes on the entrance to the cave. When she saw Jamie come in her body relaxed and she smiled at him. It wasn’t lost on her friends who moved away to the other side of the cave. 

Jamie looked into her eyes that were smiling along with her mouth. He had so much to say and he pushed back on that impulse with herculean strength. 

“We need to move tonight, Claire, or they will overpower us and kill us all. We dinna have a choice. You will move slower and need rest breaks as we go. I’ll be right there with ye but there's somethin you need to know.” Jamie cleared his throat. “There will be men watching our every move. They will follow to see where the next hiddin place is. You are the one that will hold them back from the others because they want to stay hidden. Yer first two stops will be tolerated but they will figure out they have lost the chance to follow the others. They will have a choice. To let their anger win and shoot ye in the back, or wait it out and follow ye to the others. John will circle back and kill them all.”

“Unless they give in to their anger, right?”

“Listen to me, Claire. If you dinna want to do this I will hide ye in vegetation. They will follow the others and we will have the same fight on our hands as we do now. I’m sorry mo chridhe. It’s your call love.” 

She looked up at Jamie, “who do you put your money on?”

“Us. By the time they figure out they have lost the others, they will be forced to follow ye, so no killin.”

“Okay then.” She took a deep breath. “This will require its own chapter when I write my memoirs.” 

“No, Sassenach.” He touched her cheek and looked sad. “John and I are invisible to the public, so is everyone I work with. I’m sorry for this but ye will be threatened with the pain of death if ye ever speak of it. Nothin I can do to protect ye from that. I know ye’ll be fine once ye realize this secret will go to the grave with ye.”

“The crease between her eyes meant she understood this was way bigger than her, “it’s okay, I’m not much of a writer anyway,” she whispered. 

An hour after sunset, John swooped into the cave shaking his head no and pulling off his goggles. The food and water were distributed among the men to carry and quick instructions were given. There was so much tension in the air John decided to move them out before they imploded. Claire and Jamie were at the back. 

“I feel good Jamie,” Claire whispered with a smile. An hour later she was clinging to Jamie with her one good arm and lurching forward from exhaustion. Jamie pulled her into the brush making her lay flat, head on his lap. After resting for an hour, he asked if she could go on. Claire knew she couldn’t. She was filled with fear she would get everyone killed. She struggled against her tears and bravely took a step forward. 

Jamie heard her sniffling and it broke his heart. As soon as he heard the spit of John’s rifle, he pulled Claire into his arms and ran until something stopped him. A clump of large bushes by the feel of it. He pushed into them and sank to his knees. Claire dropped her legs to either side of his lap keeping her head down. Jamie felt safe here for the time being. He whispered to Claire she could rest here. He felt her forehead press against his lips and he froze, not wanting this contact to end. 

Jamie felt Claire lift her head toward him. He remained a statue. Holding her against him willing her to rest. He felt her lips against his throat. Lightly, tentatively, she kissed him there. She pressed her face against his neck, and he held her to him. Two hearts ramming against each other she felt his hand come up her back, into her hair. Claire looked up at where his face would be bringing her lips millimeters from his. Jamie struggled not to lose it. To stay vigilant against the enemy while the siren straddled his thighs and held him to her. 

Claire knew his face was close to hers, so she leaned in and felt the glorious warmth of his lips pressed against hers. Like two sculptures made of marble, they pressed into one another but could not let it go. Jamie held Claire’s hair and his lips puckered around hers so lightly. He heard Claire gasp for air when he pulled back. She followed his lips and held his head to hers. 

“Kiss me, Jamie. I want you to kiss me, please.”

That request broke through his barriers and he pulled her flush to him, pulling her pelvis forward and crushing her to him. Their kisses were slow, warm, and so loving. He felt her tongue softly run across his lip and he breathed in sharply.

“Again, Sassenach,” he whispered.

She wanted so badly to see his face, so she held his cheeks and explored the surface of his eyes, nose, ears, and neck with her fingers. She pulled him to her mouth, and he felt her tongue slip into his mouth where it danced with his. For what seemed like hours they gorged on each other’s kisses, lost to the battle, the injuries, and the dire circumstances they were in. The warm soft kissing trumped everything until Jamie heard the spit of John’s rifle and saw the dirt explode inches from them.

Jamie kissed Claire hard to stifle any sound that might give them away. Rolling to his back pulling her down on top of him. His hand felt along the dirt until he found a stick that might be long enough for a signal of where they were hiding. While he kissed Claire with unbridled passion, he waved the stick in the air, above the bushes for as long he could before her mouth became his everything.

John couldn’t help laughing as he followed the laser sight and picked them off one at a time. Thank God the sniper rifle was not widely available in this part of the world. He sat back on his heels knowing there were one or two at least that stayed down, pissed as hell, but wanting the location of their hiding place. He knew he was out of range for their guns. He pulled out his flashlight, dropped his drawers, turned around and slapped his butt cheeks while illuminating his vile gesture. So predictable. Shots came in from two shooters and John had rifle up, and eyes focused. When the laser sight flicked across a body he shot with deadly accuracy. 

John buckled his belt and hoisted the rifle over his shoulder as he walked silently back to the barn. 

Jamie sat up with a Sassenach attached to his lips. He held her close and whispered it was time to go. She reluctantly stood up and they walked silently to the barn. Jamie helped Claire up the wooden ladder to the hayloft and pulled a mound of old hay into a pile for her to lay on. He pressed a canteen into her hand, and she gulped the water until it was gone. She laid down, looking at Jamie until he laid down next to her. 

Jamie and Claire clung to each other. They said nothing and felt absolutely everything.


	7. Chapter 7

Geneva looked over the high sign-in counter and round blue eyes in a gorgeous face stared back. 

“May I help you?”

“I need to see Jamie right away.”

“Let’s get you scheduled for next week sometime. What is a good day for you?”

“You idiot, he’s my fiancé for Christ’s sake. Is there a patient with him now?”

The office manager cut Geneva off as she came through to the back office and would not let her pass. I’m sorry miss, doctor Fraser has never mentioned your name and I am not in the mood to waste time with your pushy attitude. Either you leave on your own or I throw you out. Your choice.

Geneva sneered at the woman who was at least six inches shorter and hadn’t more than one hundred pounds on her. 

“Jamie!”

Geneva tried to walk passed feeling no more than a brush of the manager’s foot between her ankles and within seconds she was laying on the floor and the manager had the heel of her shoe millimeters from her eyeball. 

“You crazy fucking bitch, back off me or pay the consequences.”

“Ok, not heavy in the brain department since I am ready to take your eye out and you are giving me orders. I pity people like you. Here is a favor, you get your flat ass off the floor and I hand you back your shoe outside. If doctor Fraser needs to speak to you, I’m sure he will call.” 

An hour later the manager placed a stack of files on Jamie’s desk and stared at the haunting picture that hung directly across on the other wall. The girl leaning against the scrub sink was beautiful, lost in her thoughts. It looked like a black and white picture at first, but a band of light illuminated her face showing her porcelain skin and extraordinary golden eyes. 

Jamie laid prone behind the rifle and swept the night scope across the land in front of the barn. He was laying out a map in his head to get them across the border, but it was a very long way on foot. He was so lost in thought he didn’t hear Claire crawl across the wood floor until she leaned into him putting her head on his upper arm. He wrapped it around her and kissed her. She rolled to her back and squeezed into his side before falling back to sleep. 

Despite the trouble they were in, low water supply, dwindling food, and the expected raid on the barn, Jamie watched the sun push up into a purple and pink sky. It took his breath away. 

“That’s a beauty,” John whispered into his yawn. “Give me Lucy. I get nervous with you touching her everywhere and I ‘d be scared shitless if you had to shoot her.”

Jamie rolled his eyes and slid the rifle and stand toward John. Jamie was boots on the ground, hand to hand combat and never found much value in a gun. Especially since he was a terrible shot. It was Jamie’s hands that grabbed the target and yanked him or her out of hundreds of near-death scenarios. He never quit. If he couldn’t get to the target, he would create a way in. His most important mission, until this one, was pulling his commander out from under the noses of his Arab captors just hours before his execution. Jamie had been directly under the floor of his cell for three days chipping away at the floor surrounding the drain, but leaving the tiles intact. It was risky and he had to listen to Dougal get the shit beat out of him night after night, but he kept at it. 

When it was time, he shattered the tiles and pulled Dougal into the hole dropping him into the river of piss and feces that ran under the prison. Dougal ran as best he could and collapsed when they emerged behind the prison. Jamie hoisted the man across his shoulder and ran with him for two solid hours to rendezvous with the chopper. He dove into the craft pulling the commander into a seat and buckling the harness. Jamie assessed the injuries mid-flight and when Dougal opened his eyes, he saw the man that wouldn’t quit, his savior. 

John looked at Jamie, “we’ve run out of time friend, we need to go and you know it, do you have a plan?”

“I know only that the enemy has laid low waiting for reinforcement to arrive. By the time they hit us they will have all the best technology and weapons to make short work of it. And yes, it’s time to go.”

Jamie looked down at his communication device and punched in the code he had tried several times a day for the past five days. When the response came back, he jumped almost a foot in the air and rubbed his bleary eyes. 

“Jesus! They’re comin in hot, hold position, one hour! Thank Christ.”

Claire rubbed her eyes and squinted at the sun coming into the upper window. Jamie repeated the news to Claire and she scrambled away to tell the others. Three happy men shared the last of the food with Claire. Jamie watched them together and was happy she had these friendships in this hell hole. 

When the shooting started, they were well out of range. Why announce you’re here and waste the bullets John wondered. Jamie was next to John with his field glasses sweeping the vegetation.

“Two o’clock! Where the hell did they get that?”

John looked through the scope and saw the grenade launcher. He had one shot before the barn would blow up with them in it. In the last fraction of a second, he changed targets and sent a bullet into the grenade blowing up the men and the gun. 

Jamie watched the ground in front of the barn and shook his head. “It looks like the ground is movin. They’re comin! Take cover!” Jamie scooped up Claire and set her behind the bales of hay. The bullets would be coming through the walls when they got a little closer. John was getting as many as possible but there were too many. Within minutes the walls of the barn were splintering as bullets came through. It was deafening and absolutely terrifying. Jamie pulled on John’s sleeve yelling for him to take cover. When he didn’t move, Jamie used his strength to pull him behind the hay. 

Jamie pulled Claire into his chest and turned his back on the bullets. The walls, hay, and his dense body would shield her, in the beginning. She will still die when they come up the ladder, guns blazing. Jamie would have a surprise for them, he thought, squeezing the grenade in his hand. 

The first shells launched by the Blackhawk helicopters blew a large divet in the ground and sent bodies flying into the air. Large bullets from both helicopters pushed back on the rebels until there was enough room to land the military transport helicopter between the barn and the Rebels. With the Blackhawks pointed nose down, they kept the bullets raining on the rebels giving cover to the bird on the ground. 

Jamie shouted to the men to run and they piled into the open side door. Jamie held Claire and she pushed him away.

“I can run Jamie,” and she bolted toward the chopper. The Blackhawks above continued their assault until the transport was off the ground and a safe distance away, then they sped off leaving over one hundred men on the ground staring after them. 

Jamie looked up at Dougal with a huge smile on his face. They nodded to each other. 

“Thank Christ.” 

Jamie put a headset on to talk to the commander. “Blackhawks?”

“This turned into a combined military rescue and you and John were never there. The doctor and two of the nurses are American, hence, the Blackhawks. It was leaked to the American press that the surviving medical personnel were pinned down by rebels that took the hospital. Christ, after that it was a stampede to see who could get down here the fastest.” 

Dougal reached for a side pocket and handed papers to Jamie. 

“We prepared a statement for each of them. Make sure they memorize them in the next thirty minutes.”

Everyone was reading the statement they would have to make in the military debriefing and then the press, but first they would be swept into a private room in the airport, where Dougal would join others and put the fear of God into the four of them about exposing the real heroes that saved them. 

John was in the corner cradling Lucy as he slept. When the transport landed, Dougal told them to follow the escorts. Their worried families had been flown to Mexico to rendezvous with them.

Claire suddenly understood, she was expected to go with the others, but she had no family or friends here and she wanted to stay with Jamie.

“Jamie!” 

Cutter leaned down to her ear and said, “there is no Jamie on the helicopter sweetheart. It won’t be long sweet pea and you can fly to Scotland.”

Dougal flew Jamie and John to a remote section of the airport, shook their hands, and they walked away. A suitcase was provided to carry John’s rifle back to the safe house. Jamie turned around and looked directly in the commander's eyes and nodded his thanks. 

Twenty minutes later a taxi rolled up on the safe house and two filthy, starving, exhausted men went inside. Dougal had dropped off supplies. There were porterhouse steaks two inches thick, a bowl of salad, garlic bread and a casserole with microwave instructions. A bottle of good whisky was opened and poured into two glasses. 

John had Lucy broken down and was cleaning each piece meticulously. Not a word was spoken between the two men because no words were necessary. They saved four people, killed at least fifty, and narrowly escaped with their lives, just like so many times before.

Jamie stepped off the plane in Scotland and tried Claire again, it went straight to voice mail which was now full because he had left so many messages. When he dropped into bed and stared into the darkness, he remembered holding her in the bushes with gunfire all around them. Where are you Sassenach? 

“Welcome home Doctor Fraser. I trust you had a pleasant trip?”

“Yes, thank you. Will ye let the staff know to come back tomorrow? Thank ye.”

Jamie stared into Claire’s eyes in the picture feeling his chest tighten, hearing his own words, “I expect her to wave goodbye at the Mexican airport and follow him again.” 

When he was ready to leave in the evening he stopped in the front office and measured his words carefully. 

“How did ye know where I was? How did ye know to tip the American’s off about the nurses?”

The manager turned a murderous look at Jamie but something in his face made her stop. 

“Your kitchen table had the whole story. The Honduras map, your code notes, your laptop with search history. It was all very sloppy doctor, a terrible breach of protocol. I imagine you will be retired from the reserves and your military career will end. I have been reassigned, I leave in two weeks. 

Jamie nodded his head and walked toward the door. “Well, thanks for gettin me out of there, good night.”

Jamie walked into his kitchen and was stunned to see Geneva sitting at the table. He saw his key next to her purse and dropped it in his pocket. He poured two whisky’s and sat across from her with questioning eyes. 

“What are ye doin here lass?”

She looked at him sharply, “what do you think I’m doing here?”

Jamie was not in the mood for this game. He had made his intentions clear on two occasions and she seemed not to listen and continued to act like his girlfriend.

“We tried to find our way to one another but we dinna have a foundation of mutual interest, trust, support, and tolerance. It wasna there and that makes a long- term commitment impossible. I wish you the best and hope ye have a happy life, truly. But it wilna be with me.”

He stood and pulled gently on her elbow, guiding her to the door. Drive safely, Geneva. The door closed and he sighed deeply, hoping it was finally over with her. He poured another whisky. 

The next two weeks went by in a blur and Jamie just powered through it, knowing his emptiness would fade in time and he would feel normal, young, strong, and invincible, again. Claire’s picture in his office tormented him but he refused to take it down. One day he would, but not today.

“Excuse me! I am so sorry about this, but I am here to see Jamie and I don’t have any money for the Taxi.”

The manager looked up into golden eyes and black curls falling in every direction. She gasped as her wicked fast brain connected the dots.

“Yes of course.” She pulled a twenty out of her lab coat and handed it to her. “Will this due?” 

“Right this way dear.” 

She led Claire into an examination room and looked at her lovely bare legs, high heels, tiny shirt, and jeans jacket. Her excitement was palpable and the manager smiled to herself as she closed the door. 

“Doctor you have a lady in room three, she asked for taxi money when she got here, and she is very anxious. You better hurry before she starts kicking the door. I’ll be right in with her chart.”

Jamie tapped on the door and walked in feeling her body ‘s impact and her arm come around his neck. She kissed him hard, melting into his arms. 

“Sassenach. What happened to ye?”

“Our phones were taken and replaced with new numbers within twenty-four hours but there was no trace of you in my phone or Joe’s. Surgery on my shoulder, ten days in-patient, four of those in ICU from reaction to anesthesia. Released at noon yesterday and went to a dress shop and straight to the airport.”

His mouth closed on hers and they kissed, repeatedly as Claire cried and Jamie smiled. He pulled her into his office and heard her gasp behind him. She was staring at the picture and pulling out a Wired magazine from her purse. The same picture was on the cover and it was named “The Little Nurse in Honduras.”

“I’ve never felt so famous and no one knows my name,” she laughed. 

They sat on the couch knee to knee and Jamie feasted on her bright face and happiness. He didn’t want to spoil the mood, but he would lose his mind if he didn’t ask her. 

“What are yer plans Sassenach. Can ye stay for a little while.”

“I’m applying for a job actually and I don’t know where in the world it will take me, but it starts here in Edinburgh.” She pulled an add page from her purse and read the add to him.

“Wanted: girlfriend and professional fan, must like hor de oeuvres and whisky, dancing at the club, romantic dinners, and camping. Must….” 

Claire was pulled to her feet and kissed so sweetly, touched so lightly she was ready to lose her mind. She looked up with smoldering eyes that were telling him what she needed.

“I’m asking for the night off tonight, pizza or something easy.” 

“Done.”

She was moving toward the door, “If I say uncle, I will never ask again.”

Jamie lunged for her once he understood and she slipped out his door giggling.

Jamie grabbed the pizza and broke land speed records getting home. Since hearing the word uncle, he imagined Claire on his bed, naked, reaching for him. Instead, he saw her across the street handing tools to the neighbor while he worked on his car. Oh God he thought, she had no way of gettin in the house! Claire ran across the street smiling wide, so happy he was home. 

“I’m sorry for the oversight Sasse”. 

Claire stopped his words with a hard kiss on her tiptoes as she pushed him backwards toward the door.

“Lucky bastard,” was mumbled by the neighbor as he dropped back into his engine.

When the door was closed, pizza dropped on the kitchen counter he turned on her and kissed her to the bedroom where frantic stripping led to frantic licking and sucking from each of them. When Jamie sent her into her first orgasm, she pulled on his shoulders making it clear she wanted him to pound into her. Jamie gratefully shed his restraint and pushed into her soft wet pulsing pussy. He felt her body stiffen and a painful gasp followed. 

“Sassenach, what is it, what’s wrong?”

“Oh my God, that fuckin hurt!” 

She pushed her fingers into her sloppy wetness and looked horrified. Then her eyes got bright like she remembered something important. 

“You’re a pussy doctor! What’s wrong with it?”

Jamie had a feeling the pain was due to lack of use, but he didn’t know how to ask her without prying.

He smiled wickedly, “this problem will resolve quickly if ye let me help ye, but first, I need to take a look.” 

He pushed her legs open and pulled her into a gasping, needy, trembling state and then pulled her down for a come fuck me kiss that almost finished her off. He rolled to his side, face to face with her pulling her leg over his hip and entered her slowly, an inch at a time. He kept up the intense kissing and felt her lower leg push against his back sending him deeper into her. When he pinched her nipple, her leg slammed him to her cervix and Jamie growled into her face. He let her take him as she wanted and when he finally let himself go his climax shook him to the core. 

After a renewing shower, they sat down to eat and talk about the fourteen days they were apart. 

“Did Cutter ever tell ye how he escaped?”

“They sent three teenagers into the hospital to count the bodies and make sure they were dead. The boys were only interested in the narcotics they could steal so while they stuffed their pockets Cutter got up and ran. He was never shot, he just went down in a pool of blood.”

She told Jamie about meeting Cutter’s wife and the mothers of Joe and Kevin. She stayed with Joe’s family when she wasn’t in the hospital and cried herself to sleep each night. 

“I need to find a home. Get brave and put down roots but I’m afraid of putting pressure on both of us to find a comfort zone with each other. Edinburgh is where my friends are, where you are, where I feel most comfortable right now. I want to find my own place to live, work at the hospital, and go out with you. That is what I want.”

Jamie was reminded of her honesty and ability to ask for what she wanted. Every word made sense to him and he would be so happy to have that place to start from. 

“How is it that God gave ye such a rockin body and a brilliant mind Sassenach? You must have gone through the line twice which means yer a smart lass, aye?”

Later, with all the lights in the house turned off and two bodies in his bed he waited for her to say or show how she wanted to sleep. When she pressed her back into his chest he smiled and wrapped her in his warmth to last the whole night through. 

The next week was the most delightful Jamie could remember. Claire was so easy to live with and surprised him with delicious meals at night and a spunky attitude in the mornings. When the weekend approached he had a surprise for her too. 

“Sassenach, it’s Friday, I can get home early and take ye shoppin for clothes and shoes. If ye want, we can have dinner and play pool for a while.” 

Claire was over the moon and jumped into his truck when he came by to pick her up, bursting with happiness. Jamie pulled her from one store to another and her bags and boxes mounted between them in the truck.

“What is yer favorite outfit Sassenach. Put it on, please? Yes, right here in the truck, I promise I wilna look.” 

When they got back in the truck after dinner Jamie wanted to stay out for a while and teased her into a game of pool. On the way into the club, his stomach was churning, hoping her friends came through for this spontaneous welcome home party. Claire heard shouts and whistles as they came through the door and she looked up at a table full of her friends. Geillis and Laoghaire ran to her, arms wide, and the hug-fest was on. 

Jamie loved seeing Claire so happy and did his best to get to know the people in her life. He watched her turn down offers to dance all night and was thrilled she stayed in his lap like she was staking her territory. At midnight, she was saying goodbye and thanking everyone. Jamie had been in a deep conversation with Rupert and Angus popping his head up when he heard they were leaving. He let her lead and when they waved goodbye she was in a happy mood covering him with kisses all the way home. 

Claire was still into tender lovemaking but said the pain was getting better. They made love every night and he waited for her to want more but she seemed content for now. He waited for her to push away from him afterward, but she hadn’t done so yet. He was happy in the moment. Knowing she would have her own life and home soon, he enjoyed every minute while he had it. 

Claire made a huge breakfast on Sunday morning. She had important questions to ask Jamie and thought a full stomach would help. She watched him sip coffee and read parts of the paper to her. He glanced up at her and dropped the paper. 

“What is it Sassenach?”

She looked at him like she was trying to talk herself out of asking, then launched into the tough discussion. 

“How long have you been a secret soldier?”

Jamie looked at her and knew instantly he would tell her whatever she wanted to know.

“I was eighteen when I joined. I had been to the recruiting office because I heard some branches of the military pay for medical school, and that’s all I wanted to do with my life. I was invited to join a black ops group and I was promised undergraduate and medical training after five years. I accepted and never doubted my decision, it was the only way for a farm boy to become a doctor.”

“Why would they pay for college after five years?”

“The lower the chance of survival the higher the pay Sassenach. We had the best shooters, the best fighters, the best recon, infiltrators, code breakers, pilots, and hand combat soldiers. They all became rich if they lived. I was released from duty five years later and shed the soldier's skin like I was molting. I dinna think about the military the whole time I was in school, but I had agreed to two missions a year after my residency. So I knew that was comin. 

“For how long?”

“Until I no longer had medical clearance. Lost my vision, or chronic injury, something that made me unfit.”

Claire couldn’t help the tears because she was so afraid for him. How could she attach herself to someone that had such a low chance of surviving his commitment? She was in love with him and the thought of living without him was no longer an option. She would lose her mind when he left, two times per year. 

Jamie gave her a moment to consider what he said and his heart broke when she gave in to her tears.

“Sassenach, I am going to be booted for going to Honduras. I lose my pension, bonus, and mission pay which equals more money than I can make as a doctor.” He waited, “it’s over Sassenach. My military career is over.”

Claire’s head popped up and her glassy eyes stared at him, wondering if she heard right. 

“What?”

“I’m not a soldier anymore. Being released from my unit would have killed me before Honduras. Now, it doesna pain me much because I see other things in my life that are more important. Things that I never thought I would have because of my soldiering.”

Claire stood up and dropped herself on his lap, face to face. “Do things have a name soldier?”

He brought his warm hand up her leg and cupped her butt, smiling at the sensation he felt. 

‘It’s still a covert mission and I canna speak of it, sorry.”

He grabbed her hair, forcing her head to drop back and bringing his lips to a millimeter of hers.

“That’s enough talk of a life in the past Sassenach. I am in need of yer body and yer wee noises.” 

He lifted her in his arms and carried her to bed where he bent her in the most erotic positions, making her wait for release until she tried to take control. Her wrists were above her head before she knew what was happening and he held her this way for a torturous seduction that made her forget time and space. When he released her hands, she brought them down to hold him and kiss his face as she opened her legs and pressed him to her. Jamie had given her an express pass to the wild side and here she was holding him, pressing her face into his, and kissing like an angel instead of a wanton she-devil. He pressed his forehead to hers and every stroke said I love you, I want you, and we belong together. 

Claire opened her eyes and looked at the empty bed. Pulling Jamie’s robe on she wandered into the living room where Jamie was reading. 

“Will you take me to get a paper today?”

Jamie pulled his keys out and offered his truck for her to use. Claire held the keys with a worried look on her face. 

“Do ye have a license Sassenach. Do ye drive? 

“Probably.”

“I have a better idea lass, let’s go drive so ye can get a license, when yer ready, and have more independence. Wouldn’t that make ye happy Sassenach?”

With the housing ads folded on the seat and forgotten, Claire drove the truck around the stadium parking lot with the biggest smile Jamie had ever seen. It was a delightful way to spend Sunday afternoon and it would forestall her finding her own place to live for another day. Jamie smiled and decided that was just fine.


	8. Chapter 8

Claire leaned into the mirror to apply eyeliner and mascara. She was so excited to dance and play with her friends tonight. She glanced at the clock and was stunned it was so early. She pulled on a tight short denim skirt, a flouncy shirt, and her cowboy boots and she was done. She had plenty of time to read the housing ads while she waited for Geillis. It was now going on three weeks living here with Jamie, and her guilt was getting the best of her. 

She squinted at the text and started to read. The number of bedrooms and bathrooms gave way to arms and legs, pulling, intertwining. Fingers that wrapped around his cock and teased him, or her mouth slipping down the length of him while he struggled to drive them home from dinner. He was such a good lover who she couldn’t get enough of, but he was holding himself back, always half a second after her and she realized he waited for her to set the mood. He waited for her to get comfortable in bed, he waited for her to find a place to live. 

Claire was shocked that she hadn’t noticed it until now. This man was bound up for some reason and she had to cut him loose. This wasn’t right. The doorbell rang and Claire jumped to the front door. Geillis and Laoghaire walked inside, and Geillis insisted on a tour of the opulent bachelor pad. She sat on the bed and asked Claire what kind of action she got there. Laoghaire held her ears and complained that Jamie was her cousin and she shouldn’t hear this. 

“Let’s go then!”

The girls piled into the car and they were off for the club. Claire continued to ruminate about Jamie and how to bust him out of the jail he had put himself in. 

“Stop!”

Geillis pulled over and looked at Claire, waiting for the reason. 

“I’m sorry, take me back, I promise I won’t be a minute, please.”

Claire dashed into the bedroom pulling her tight skirt off and replacing it with a free-flowing, short skirt. Her top looked terrible so she pulled that off and replaced it with an off the shoulder peasant shirt. 

“Perfect.”

Jamie was meeting John tonight for drinks and said he would pick her up at the club. She would keep him there until he was ready to rape her on the dance floor. She dropped her mini perfume into her bag and ran back to the car. Geillis and Laoghaire were already dancing in their seats, with music blaring out open windows. 

The neighbor pulled his head out of the engine of his broken-down car and mumbled, “lucky bastard.” 

The party was on when the girls entered the club. As always, the loud reception made heads turn toward them, but Claire had stopped noticing the handsome faces. She was ready to dance so the trio pressed into the dance floor for some serious ass shaking.

Jamie and John sat at the bar on the other side of town and nicely beat the girls off that came to meet them. Jamie glanced at his vibrating phone and couldn’t believe his eyes. He squinted and read the message again. 

“I love it when you kiss me there before you lick it.”

He looked up at John and tried to concentrate on his unusually boring subject. When his phone vibrated thirty minutes later, he was starting to get uncomfortable.

“I’ve decided to pierce my tongue tonight so I can roll the ball up and down your dick until you lose your mind.”

And later, “I’m about ready to drag Geillis to the ladies’ room and devour her but I would rather have you. I need to come.”

Jamie chuckled and told John he had to go. John agreed and followed him to the club. Jamie was self-conscious about the log in his pants which had fortunately calmed to a dull roar when they walked into the club. 

Claire was holding hands with Laoghaire as they made their way back to the table. When she saw Jamie, she ran to kiss him shoving her tongue halfway down his throat. When she saw John, she exploded with excitement and hugged him close. 

John was looking at this transformed little female with her short skirt and boots, hair tumbling down her back. When she grabbed him in an affectionate hug, he had a new level of jealousy for Jamie. 

“Look at how pretty you are all cleaned up!”

Claire felt Jamie pull her to the dance floor where they could sway to the slow song. He looked at her with a sexual need that she determined was too long on simmer. She tilted her head and brought her lips to a millimeter of his before she took his hand and twirled under it. Jamie was having a hard time clearing his mind for the dance and he gave her a half-smile. Claire pulled his hand to her breast and used his fingers to pinch her nipples gasping at the sensation. 

“I think it’s time to go lass.”

“Oh, I can’t go yet, I promised Rupert a dance first.” 

Back at the table, there were Jägermeister shots waiting for them. Claire slammed it and then kissed Jamie running her tongue down his. He grabbed her hips just before she jumped out of his lap holding her hand out to Rupert. They danced a country swing and Jamie watched her skirt flare up her thighs when she twirled. It was getting hard to remain seated as erotic images of Claire danced in his head. 

When Claire finally returned to his lap, he pulled her to her feet saying goodbye to the people at the table. He noticed John was very busy with Geillis as he and Claire walked to the truck. Before he opened the door, he pushed Claire up against the cold steel and feasted on her lips with a kiss that told her he was starving, and she was his meal. He just wanted to get home, but every stoplight was another opportunity to touch her like a man possessed. 

Claire kicked her boots off in the truck and stretched languidly falling against Jamie for the last two blocks. When the front door closed behind them, she was up against the wall again while a huge Scot let her know he was in control. 

“Arms up lass,” Jamie pulled her shirt over her head, released the zipper of her skirt and rolled her thong off while they were still in the living room. He walked her to the couch and bent her over the end. From this position, he could lick her, pinch her nipples, and bring his cock to her lips, looking down at the erotic sight. He carried her into the bedroom where he took her to the edge of sanity again and again until she begged him to push her over the edge. She was released to delightful heights that filled her with sparklers. 

“I’m sorry lass. Tenderness is no an option tonight. Spread yer legs.” When he collapsed next to her he was covered in sweat and panting for his life. 

“Jesus, Sassenach, I might never get up again, but it was worth it.”

Claire kissed his face about a dozen times while she giggled. He pulled her to him and buried his face in her hair.

“Dinna go Sassenach, stay with me.”

Claire thought about what he said but when she looked at him to answer he was sound asleep. She laid in the dark hearing him breathe and wondered what she should do with that question. It broke her heart to admit what she was, a relationship serial-killer. Somehow, he would become intolerant of her behavior, or the way she thought about issues, or she wasn’t making enough money or a thousand other things that she would push back about. It’s what she did, always. The thought tortured her for hours as she tried not to wake him. Deep in the night, she felt his hand stroke her arm.

“What is it Sassenach. Tell me.”

She stammered and then apologized, moving away from him to her own side. When she finally fell asleep, she dreamed of the filthy man leaning over her, screaming at her to get up. She looked around and saw Joe and Kevin with their hands in the air and looked back at the man as a garrote slipped around his neck and the blood shot out as he struggled. Claire woke up screaming and thrashing around in bed. Jamie lifted her to him and held her tight, rocking slightly and speaking to her in a warm melodic language that washed over her calming her down. 

“Yer alright lass, I’ve got ye” 

“Please, the other language.”

Jamie stretched out on the bed and pressed her head to his chest so he could tell her the story of the lonely woodsman, in Gaelic. Claire didn’t understand the words but his voice vibrating in his chest was calming. She felt herself relax and realized she had serious hero worship of Jamie, and that made her decision even more complicated. 

Claire put her arm around Jamie’s waist and moved up to kiss him quiet. Suddenly, she wanted all of him, in her, around her, possessing her. Her arousal ramped up so quickly she was panting in between kisses and pulling him to her. Claire knew what she wanted this morning and Jamie happily complied pushing deep into her body. He kissed her deeply until his need for air was too great. Having come so hard the night before, his arousal built up slowly until it shook him from head to toe. 

It was almost noon when Claire had her first cup of coffee. Jamie was in a happy mood and sat down at the kitchen table suddenly focused on her. His notebook was in front of him with a pen next to it. 

“Sassenach, I would like to negotiate for another month with you. No more but certainly less if you choose to move out before the end of the month. For instance, if someone offered a grand home for one dollar per month rent, I would expect you to take it. Very understandable. So, for the next thirty days I would like you here because I love ye, yer a great cook, I like havin sex with ye, a lot. I also love yer company, to talk, giggle, or kiss on the couch. This arrangement can be renegotiated for the following month if we both have an interest. Oh, almost forgot, we can continue yer driving lessons with you here.”

He stopped and looked at her. “What do ye say Sassenach?”

She blinked at him trying to make sense out of what he was offering. Realizing she could stay with him for another thirty days without commitment was an answer to her prayers. Her face brightened up, her smile spread across her face and she shook her head yes, in complete relief.

Jamie was writing the terms of their agreement which gave her every option and right to be independent while staying close to him. They both signed and Jamie made a huge breakfast for them. 

“Eat Sassenach, ye’ll need her strength today. I am hiking in the woods for a few hours and I want ye to come. Will ye?”

“Yes! Let’s go!” 

Jamie was thrilled with Claire’s reaction to the pristine mountains and woods that surrounded his estate. Her eyes were wide at all the scenery and special places he pointed out. After three hours of hiking the sight of Jamie’s truck made her frown. 

“Do we have to go already?” 

“It will be dark in less than an hour lass, but we’ll come back, next weekend if ye like and when it’s warm enough, we’ll stay for the night.”

Claire was bubbling with excitement over sleeping outside under the stars. 

“I love every single thing I’ve seen today.”

“Thank ye, I agree it’s beautiful.”

The way he said thank ye sounded too possessive to Claire. She decided to tease him about their outing. 

“You say thank you like you own the woods.”

“Yes Sassenach, I do”

“I see. Who gave the woods to you?”

“This is part of my estate so I suppose it would be my great, great, great, great grandfather.”

Claire stopped in her tracks. “Hold up, this is part of your land? Where is your house?”

“I’ll show ye. Look through there and tell me what ye see.”

” I only see an ancient manor that is probably a hotel or something.”

“That is Lallybroch Sassenach. My childhood home.”

Claire turned around and stared at Jamie with her mouth open.

“Can I see it,” she whispered.

“It would be my pleasure to show ye and ye can meet my sister Jenny.”

Jenny was getting supper ready when she heard the wheels crushing the stone in the driveway. When she saw Jamie’s truck she ran outside with a huge smile on her face until she noticed a second person in the cab, and it looked like a woman. She was conflicted. She needed to wring her brother’s neck for hurting Geneva, but she couldn’t do it in front of a stranger. She would bide her time for now. 

Jamie’s excitement over being home was palpable and Claire looked closely at him feeling the pedestal inch higher. When he looked back at her it was a double-take and his chest constricted at the look on her face. She took his breath away with her happiness and unguarded heart. 

Jenny was quick to notice he held Claire’s hand and looked at her like she was made of spun gold. She tried to be cordial but couldn’t help staring at Jamie because he seemed like a different person. It made her happy and furious at the same time, and she was relieved when they walked away for a tour of the house. 

Geneva spent an evening crying at Jenny’s kitchen table lamenting Jamie’s cold heart after she gave him everything he wanted. In her version, she and Jamie were in love and she expected a proposal, thwarted when she caught him cheating on her. She left him, brokenhearted, a victim of a callous womanizing man. 

Jenny had difficulty seeing her brother in this new light but that didn’t stop her from seeing Claire as the opportunistic tramp that pulled Jamie away. The more she thought about it the madder she became so when they came back through the kitchen, she kept her back to them offering a curt goodbye. 

At the first stoplight, Jamie typed a text message asking Jenny to meet him for lunch on Wednesday. Clearly, Geneva had provided a warped picture of their relationship for sympathy or support and this glitch in his happy existence was pissing him off. 

“I am starvin Sassenach, let’s stop for dinner, aye?”

Claire couldn’t stop smiling as she studied the menu, but would clear her throat and try again to read the selections. Her nose and cheeks were sunburned from their hike, and a spattering of freckles had come to the surface enchanting Jamie as he watched her. 

“I have an interview on Tuesday at the hospital, for neonatal.”

“Ye’ve decided against trauma?”

“No, I am good with either, but there’s an opening in neonatal right now. Maybe I can transfer to ER later if I want.” 

They chatted through dinner until someone in the restaurant screamed for help. Both looked toward the commotion and were on their feet running. Jamie called for an ambulance and told Claire to breathe for the man as he started chest compression. They worked like a practiced team, in sync with their timing, each knowing exactly what to do. The ambulance was taking longer than expected and Jamie looked at Claire’s face, red from blowing air into resistant lungs. 

“Trade places with me Sassenach.” They continued with the life-saving aid for fifteen minutes until an ambulance finally arrived and the EMT’s took over. Many hands touched them as they walked back to their table from well-wishers who had watched them. It put a thought in Jamie’s head that would simmer for a few weeks before popping out of his mouth in the form of a question.

“Sassenach, what did ye like about nursing in third world countries? What is it that trumps nursing in the hundreds of countries with modern medical facilities?”

Claire looked up from the Jigsaw puzzle they were working on and smiled while she thought about the question. She explained the joys and rewards of helping people that would otherwise go without treatment, the medical procedures that went beyond traditional nursing, outreach programs that took her into the most remote villages to do well-baby checkups and inoculations. The expression of joy and transcendence on her face was not missed by Jamie. He would make inquiries and keep his mind open. 

When the warm breath of spring blew into Edinburgh, Claire bounced into the kitchen for coffee and found Jamie sitting at the table with his notebook and pen. She realized it was the end of the month and turned around to hide her smile. 

“What is that for?”

“It’s time to renegotiate our agreement Sassenach. I would like another thirty days, aye?”

“Now that I’m working, I want to amend the terms please, like I pay for dinner half of the time.”

“No.”

Claire’s head jerked up and she stared at him, “no, is not an answer.”

“I see, how about twice per month at a restaurant of yer choice?” 

“No.”

“I can see this may take some time, mo chridhe. No worries, we’ll still have time to get up to the meadow and catch some dinner before dark.” 

“Nice try Fraser, you think I will agree to anything so we can leave for the weekend. It’s not going to happen.” She was struggling not to giggle at his face, twisted in consternation. “I want four times per month, minimum. Oh my, look at this gorgeous day,” said staring out the window. 

“Alright, fine.” Jamie wrote the term on his notepad. “Anything else, love?”

“Yes, I would like your assistance next Saturday because I’m ready to take my driver’s test and get my license.”

“Jamie smiled brightly, “done.”

“Lastly, I want to tell you something under the stars tonight and you have to listen.”

Jamie looked up at her with a strange expression and watched her get up and sit in his lap facing him.

“I want to tell you that I love you, Jamie, with every ounce of my being, I love you.”

“Sassenach,” he breathed. “I didna hear ye.”

Claire looked at his beautiful face and smiled at his expression. “I said, I love you, Jamie. Now, get up, it’s time to go,” and she launched out of his lap running for the shower. 

That night, amid the cricket sounds with bellies full of fresh-caught fish, Claire pressed her head to Jamie’s chest and listened to his story. She stretched and sighed happily. 

Jamie pushed his nose into her hair and kissed her ear, “I believe ye have somethin to say to me tonight Sassenach.”

“I love you so,” was followed by a warm kiss that echoed the sentiment.

“Okay you two, I’m heading back!”

Claire screamed at the intrusion and Jamie rolled his eyes. John stood on top of a large rock looking down at them snuggled into a sleeping bag. 

“Christ, you scared me half to death, John! I thought you left a long time ago.”

“Nope, going now, it was fun, let’s do it again sometime," and he walked back into the darkness.

John had joined them for the hike, but Claire barely had five minutes to chat before he jumped rocks like stars and disappeared. He dropped down on them periodically to show something cool he found, then gone again. 

“How can he get down in the dark?”

“He isna human, mo chridhe, come closer so I can keep ye warm.”


	9. Chapter 9

A young man knocks hard on a wood pole of a tukul, a round shelter made of grasses, mud, and wood poles, very common in South Sudan and the only type of structure on this UN base. It is officially known as the United Nations Protection of Civilians Site Bentiu. It was constructed outside the scorched city of Bentiu in the poorest nation of central Africa. The civil war had been raging for three years and when a peace treaty was signed in 2015 it failed to stop the fighting, so the war raged on. 

The young man knocked harder on the tukul making the structure wobble in its feebleness. “Claire! Wake up! Treatment three and hurry! The door opened in a rush and Claire stood on the other side pushing her t-shirt into her pants. 

“Jesus, I hate waking up to a flood of adrenalin! Nabbi when the tukul shakes like that the creatures in the grass roof fall to the ground, or on me.”

Nabbi smiled mischievously at his favorite nurse, “and now you are up and need very high, doctor says run!”

Claire felt her thighs burning as she sprinted to the treatment ward. Rounding the corner she saw both doctors bent over bodies that were unrecognizable. Casualties of government soldiers shooting, raping, and burning a village in the night. 

Sterile gloves slapped back on her hands that were held aloft. There were no sterile gowns and no clean water on most days. 

“I’m ready! 

A long stream of Gaelic profanity was growled as Jamie threw his instruments on the wooden tray. He hung his head wondering what the intensive nine-month training he endured was for as he lost more than he saved. The patient was removed by workers and another mangled mess was placed on his table. Claire held his gloves open and his huge hands jammed into them. 

“Pea! On the double, bring a clamp pack, this boy is bleeding out! 

Claire felt like she never stopped running when the wounded arrived from a village raid. 

“Clamp the arteries as fast as you can. I have the chest, you take the abdomen. We can save this one if we hurry.”

Claire’s steady hand held the row of clamps as she jammed the forceps into one and pinched a bleeder off by squeezing it around the vessel. She worked fast from three months of practice at this level of trauma. Her eyes flicked at Jamie every few minutes because she was worried about him. He was losing weight and had dark circles under his eyes. She couldn’t remember the last time she saw him smile. 

“Eyes on the bleeders sweet pea, your betrothed is fine, just frustrated.”

“I’m worried, Cutter, he doesn’t look well, as a matter of fact, either do you. Thank Christ we’re getting out of here in four days.”

Hours later they each had a bucket of semi-clean water to pour over their heads. One bucket per day. Claire spent many hours daydreaming about long showers with her favorite scented body wash and it was finally just four days away. She took a seat next to Jamie at the grub table and ran her hand down his leg. Looking up at his tired face made her long to lay in his arms and kiss him to sleep. She missed him. Nine months of working his practice while completing his field training had kept him away from her and then they were off to South Sudan to do their part with Doctors Without Borders. He had done that for her and now she just wanted to get him home. 

She thought about the visiting doctor they met the week before. He, Jamie, and Cutter had much to talk about allowing Claire to watch his face, the slump of his shoulders, and his haunted eyes. He headed a research team of five other doctors that were sent to Africa to treat the outbreak of Ebola. Once their treatment protocol was established, he flew back to the states to compile the mountain of data that would be coming. All five of those doctors, his colleagues, and friends, died a horrifying death and their corpses were left rotting in the jungle until procedures were developed to bring them safely home. 

Claire recognized the symptoms of survivor's syndrome, his guilt that he survived when his team did not was taking a toll on his promising life. Snuffing out the flame that once burned bright. Their contribution to the treatment of Ebola would save thousands of lives, possibly millions in the future. Once the paper was published the doctor resigned his position at Harvard Medical, locked his lab, and left civilization. Now he headed a program for monitoring the doctors on the front lines of emerging pathogens. He had come to examine the medical staff and clear them to return to America.

Cutter left to write a letter to his wife and Claire asked Jamie to take a walk with her. The compound walls stretched for a mile in each direction and U.N. peacekeepers manned the turrets along the wall with machine guns. It was crowded with people seeking refuge from the war making a relaxing walk impossible. Claire’s mantra played over and over in her head, I want to go home, I want to go home, I want to go home.

New doctors arrived two days later and spent twelve hours with Jamie and Cutter, learning the base, the wards, and the one-hundred seventy patients being treated. They walked through the rape ward where the girls and women were kept away from the other patients. Little was said about the brutality of the attacks. They would find out soon enough. 

The pediatric ward was last. It was Jamie’s poison to watch the babies, sick with Cholera, malaria, or malnutrition succumb to their illness, week after week. Cutter had taken over the tour and Jamie sought out the quiet of their tukul. When Claire found him later, he was respondent. 

“I’m sorry we came here Jamie, I’m sorry you are suffering because of me. Please talk to me before I die from sadness. I am left to guess what has struck you down, pulled you away from me. When it didn’t happen after three months, I thought I wasn’t cursed anymore. Wh…when you didn’t turn against me I mean, I thought we were safe. It just took a little longer this time, right Jamie? Now you hate everything I do and every breath I take.” 

She put her arms around him and cried the words out until he turned to her and held her closely, shushing her and saying no. 

“My sweet Sassenach, stop, ye dinna speak my truth lass, I’ve never loved ye more. Ye break my heart when ye cry like that.” 

“Then tell me what it is and if we’re over Jamie.”

“We are powerless to save these people that have come here to die. We have no supplies, no sterile theater, and no freshwater. We are but undertakers for the almost dead. The babies, so innocent, so sick, have no chance. Born to a short life of misery. Where is God Sassenach? I can kill a man, face to face because I battle the devil. I would feel better to be let out of here where I can do some good.”

Jamie stood up abruptly and started walking to the door like he would walk out of the base and join the war. 

“No!” Claire jumped on him crying no. Begging him to stop, not to leave her, not to die. “Tomorrow Jamie, we leave this dreadful place tomorrow. Please, don’t break my heart today!” She jumped off of him and ran to the door to stand in front of it. 

“Let me out, Claire”

“You will have to hurt me for that to happen because I’m not moving! I understand how you feel now, and I agree, this was a terrible choice of location. In sixteen hours we board a plane to get out of this hell, why can’t you hold on until then?”

Jamie knew he wasn’t making sense and he knew this was the last night here. He took a deep breath and held his arms out to Claire.

“Please, Sassenach. Let’s go to bed, and I promise to just hold ye all night. Please, Claire, stop cryin, we will get out tomorrow and go back to our life. Come here.”

Claire flew into his arms and he carried her to bed, to hold her, until morning when this nightmare was over. She couldn’t relax until she pulled a piece of twine from her belongings and tied it around Jamie’s wrist. With much effort and Jamie’s help, the other end was tied around her wrist. She found a comfortable spot but woke up through the night to make sure he was still there. 

Before they left, Claire found Cutter coming out of the surgical ward covered in blood. 

“Shirt off Cutter.” 

He smiled wickedly and pulled his shirt over his head. Claire held him around his middle and cried. She would miss him until they met again next year to find a new location for the summer. Jamie came up behind them and told Cutter to get his disgusting hands off his future wife. The two men shook hands and hugged, both feeling the relief this trip was over. 

“Until next time friend,” Jamie said through a smile. 

Claire stowed their bags and busied herself with grabbing a blanket for Jamie. She was able to get stiff drinks for both of them when they were finally in the air. She passed a mixed drink and a shot of whisky to Jamie, looking back a minute later to see two empty glasses. She got on her knees and released Jamie’s seat kissing him sweetly. That and the alcohol sent him into the quiet of his dreams for the next five hours. Claire felt relief this exhausted man could sleep, and she guarded him from the steward and other passengers that might wake him. They were accustomed to the brutal heat of South Sudan and she noticed Jamie shaking in his sleep. She turned the airflow away from him and then covered him with the blanket. 

When they were notified of landing for their connection, she stroked his arm to avoid jolting him awake. Jamie pulled the armrest up and pulled her to him, covering both of them with the blanket. 

Claire leaned into his neck and felt powerful arms around her. She had not felt this close to him in a very long time and wished they could cuddle for another hour. There was another huge feeling in her stomach at the same time. Her phone! She could make calls while they waited for their connection and she was bursting with excitement. She was digging in her purse while they disembarked the plane making Jamie laugh. 

“Who will be first Sassenach?”

“Jenny of course,” said as she punched her speed dial. 

Jamie looked down at her marveling at her ability to accept changes in her life and then put the effort into creating the life she wanted. He remembered his sister’s stone face when they met for lunch so long ago. Jenny was convinced he had become a total tool and womanizer and nothing he said would change her mind. He was so disappointed she was making him choose between her and Claire. When Claire asked him to invite Jenny and Ian for dinner one weekend, he decided it was time for Claire to know the family dynamic at play.  
Claire sat across from him at the kitchen table and listened to the timeline he shared with Geneva and how she poisoned Jenny’s mind against her. She felt sad for Jamie because there was now an ultimatum standing between him and Lallybroch. I can fix this, she thought, just need a little luck. 

Over the next week, she checked in with Geillis and Laoghaire to get caught up on the details of Geneva’s life. She broached the subject at the club when her friends were three sheets to the wind. 

“So I understand Jamie dated this girl Geneva while I was gone. I totally understand because I told him I was not coming back to Scotland, ever. Now she has lied to his sister about their relationship, so I need all her details girls.”

“Her family is rich and she flaunts that over everyone since she was in elementary.” Laoghaire was clearly harboring a dislike for the lady and Claire seized the opportunity.

“I heard she was really nice,” Claire lied.

“She is not nice! She’s a cold, calculating bitch actually. She was all sweet to me until Jamie dumped her and now she doesn’t seem to recognize me. That’s okay, she is gettin what’s due her now.”

“Do tell sweetheart,” Claire inched her chair closer to her friend. 

Geillis started to laugh wickedly, “the lass got herself knocked up by some hotshot, handsome, rich, and new to the area. He’s developing the new mall and already well known around town. They were datin for a month and she told him at her birthday party she was pregnant. He instantly left the party and she cried for the rest of the night. We were there and saw the whole thing.” 

Claire’s mind was churning the facts and she smiled broadly at her two best friends. ”Is that a fact?”

It took two days for Jamie to fall asleep before she did and she took his phone outside and sent a text message to Geneva to meet him at the house tomorrow, twelve noon. Then she deleted the message and blocked text messages from her. 

When she answered the door the next day, she leaned against the door jam and stuck out her hand with a smile. Geneva was not happy about the intrusion of this girl and demanded to see Jamie. 

“Of course, come in, let’s get acquainted. I’m Claire by the way, Jamie’s girlfriend.” 

It took some persuading to get Geneva to the kitchen table where she could deliver the coup de grace. 

“I am so happy to spend time with you before Jamie gets here. You see, his sister Jenny has a misconception of your relationship, and it's causing a rift in the family. I want you to fix that, today.”

Geneva snorted a weak laugh and looked at Claire with utter disdain. “Not likely, I told her the truth. I feel sorry for you because you were duped by Jamie. He was with me, actively with me, until a week before he broke it off. We talked about getting married and then suddenly he was done with me. Poor baby, you’re next.”

“I know the truth of it Geneva and you will come clean to Jenny, today. If you don’t, it’s high time your father knows about your pregnancy to a guy that has run from any association with you. An abortion, trapping him with a paternity test or just hoping he comes back will do nothing but tarnish your family’s good name. You’re a social parasite Geneva and I can see your father cut off your support and throw you to the streets to cohabitate with others as misguided as you. You must be working on solutions to your situation so tell Jenny the truth and I leave you alone. Otherwise, everyone in town will know, including your parents.” 

Claire smiled sweetly at Geneva and waited until she bolted out of the house cursing under her breath. She could only hope she was right about the family dynamic and how this news would poison Geneva’s position in it. 

Jamie came home the next night with company. His contrite sister was there to apologize to Claire and ask to start over with her. Claire was over the moon and made plans with Jenny for a night out on the town the following weekend so the four of them could have some fun. It was like magic to a grateful Jamie. The four of them got on so well and Claire and Jenny started a friendship that would bond them to each other like sisters. 

Jamie grabbed the phone from Claire and asked Jenny to hold on a minute. He pulled Claire to his lips and kissed her deeply sparking a look in her eyes that made him weak. He handed the phone back and dropped his head to the back of his chair, asleep in minutes. 

The wait for their connection was long enough for Claire to check in with Laoghaire and Geillis also. She drifted to the gift shop and purchased a beautiful bracelet made in Africa. She felt done with the excursions into remote parts of the world to render aid to the less fortunate. She just felt empty inside for such an effort again. Deep inside she knew the reason. She had her suspicions for a month but couldn’t confirm it. She felt lonely suddenly and walked quickly back to Jamie who was awake. 

“Hey, sunshine, how do you feel?”

“Sleepy Sassenach. I want ye to keep me awake so tell me a story, aye?.”

Claire held her breath, wanting so badly to tell him her truth.

“Jamie, I think I’m pregnant.” 

He stared at her for a good minute, expressionless, “stay here Sassenach, I’ll be right back.”

Jamie ran to the boarding counter and asked where he could find a drugstore in the airport. He sprinted away while Claire watched in total confusion. He must absolutely hate the idea, she thought as she slipped into depression. 

Ten minutes later Jamie ran back with a small bag and lifted Claire to her feet guiding her to the ladies' room. 

He put the bag in her hand and pushed her into the room, looking wide-eyed, almost wild. 

Claire took the pregnancy test out of the bag and read the instructions. She still could not read Jamie’s emotions and felt her folly at surprising him with something life-changing and yet unverified. Holding the stick in the air to dry it she looked at the results window and felt her world tilt. It took so long to get to the sink when she looked at herself in the mirror Jamie was standing behind her. 

“May I see it, Sassenach,” he whispered, looking at Claire’s pale face. 

When she lifted the stick for him, he grabbed her and spun her around until she was dizzy. She smiled weakly at him trying to take in his reaction. He was absolutely beaming and kissed her face a dozen times telling her this was the best news. He gushed over her ability to make him deliriously happy, neither of them noticing a toilet flushing and a woman join them at the sink. She smiled knowingly at the two young people in love. 

Spoken with a Swedish accent she told them, “now you must get off the street and get a job for your baby. You will be very happy.” She walked out of the restroom leaving Jamie and Claire clearly shocked at what she said. 

Claire bent over laughing at the comment. “No shower for three months makes us look like bums on the street!” 

Jamie looked like he had seen an angel and wrapped her up in his powerful arms. 

“Sassenach, when we land in Scotland, I will have an agenda that will keep my mind occupied for at least two days. I willna have the brain space to utter a single sentence I’m afraid. Come, lass, let’s talk about this miracle and makin an honest woman of ye while I can.” 

Jamie pulled her back to their seats and looked at a confused Claire. 

“I don’t understand Jamie, what is so important for you when we get home?”

Jamie held her cheek and sighed, letting her see his need for her, making her squirm in her seat. “Oh, I see, well that trumps everything, doesn’t it? I love you Jamie and as long as you still look at me that way, I fear nothing.” 

The second leg of their trip home, Claire curled up against Jamie and dove into the calming sea of her dreams. Jamie pulled her head to his lap and made sure nothing and no one disturbed her. It was a magic seven hours for him as he contemplated the family of his future with the fierce loving, free spirit who slept in his lap. 

When the front door opened, two battle-weary lovers dropped their duffle bags and struggled to the shower. Jamie covered Claire with her favorite body wash followed by scented shampoo that made her moan with pleasure. He pulled the shower curtain aside and wrapped her in luxurious towels before heading back for his own time with the soap. When he emerged, the beard and mustache were quickly eliminated, and he felt like a new man anxious to devour his love in the slowest, most thorough way possible. He walked into the bedroom with his curls dripping water onto his shoulders and found Claire sitting on the side of the bed, head jerking up from falling asleep. His heart nearly melted in his chest as he pulled her to him and held her down until sleep came and took her away. 

Claire woke up feeling groggy from her deep sleep. She knew they had two days to re-acclimate before work pulled them apart. Jamie looked like an angel to her as he slept. She could take a bit of time to recreate the body she preferred. She snuck quietly to the second bathroom and filled the bath with hot water and scented bubble bath. She placed two new razors on the tub and scraped off the unwanted hair that invaded her most intimate body parts over the last three months. It was liberating and unleashed her arousal, dormant for so long. By the time she was done, it was a struggle not to jump on Jamie and win her release that was throbbing between her legs. 

Standing at the foot of the bed, she watched him sleep, noticing the room had become grey with the coming sunrise. She knelt to kiss his feet, followed by his calves, licking the back of his knees and causing him to gasp. She ran her tongue slowly up the back of his legs and buried her face under his buttocks to lick his balls until he flipped over and looked at her.

Jamie struggled to contain his need to pound her and his mind was full of this wonderful woman. I must slow my heart, he thought. She is kneeling over me naked and I canna get enough of her, clean shaved, smelling like sex. Her hair is falling around her face as she runs her eyes up and down my body. Jesus, she is beautiful and has no idea how I want to take her. Brutally, lovingly, dominating her body and mind until she gives in to me. I must fight the urge to consume her. She is the mother of my child and I will use all my strength not to overpower her. God, when she pulls my nipple into her mouth it strips my resolve. I want to take her, my way, without consent, without mercy, until she’s mine. 

“Sassenach, my love, come here.”

She is resistant. Careful lass, dinna tempt me, I’m no that strong. What is this? No, not a good idea, keep yer beautiful mouth away from me. It’s not fair but oh…my…God it feels so good. Jesus lass, stop or I’ll come down yer throat before I can worship yer body. Come here, love. 

Claire felt Jamie pull her to his lips and crush her. He flipped her over and pulled her legs apart feasting his eyes on her gorgeous pussy. She dropped her fingers to her fold and held it apart for him to gorge himself on her throbbing core. She arched her back into her first orgasm and tried to pull him to her. He entered her softly and slowly making her pant for more. She grabbed his face to her and looked him in the eye. 

“I don’t want Sunday school. If I say, uncle, I do the wash for both of us. Show me how much you love me Jamie, right now, and don’t hold back or I’ll go back to sleep, I swear I will.”

For the next thirty minutes, Claire felt the power of Jamie and it thrilled her as he pulled her into the most intimate and edgy positions that most women would push away from. She opened her body to him, and he feasted, growling into his orgasm that stung his balls as he ejaculated. Claire was vaguely aware of the quilt pulling up to cover them and Jamie’s soft kisses on her face. They were clinging to each other as they fell into another five hours of sleep only to repeat the intensity once again. 

Many hours later, Claire heard the quiet ringtone alerting her to a call coming in. She patted the bed until she found the offending phone and opened her eyes just before clicking the dismiss button. She answered hoping she could stay awake long enough to let him talk. 

“Joe, why are you calling in the middle of the night?”

“It is one in the afternoon gorgeous and it’s time to get up.”

“No, it’s time to sleep some more dear one. What do you want?”

“I want to say welcome back to civilization, hear about your tour in Sudan, and one more thing Claire.”

She looked at the phone and shook her head, trying to wake up. “What other thing Joe?”

“I found Luna.”

“What?!” 

“She’s in an orphanage Claire, has been since the raid on the hospital. The rebels leveled the settlements nearby and Luna’s family was wiped out. Thank God those monsters have respect for the innocent. I thought you would want to know.”

Claire was on her feet and pounding Joe with questions as she paced the bedroom. Running for her laptop she brought up the URL Joe dictated and raced through the pictures of babies and children that were up for adoption. Her fingers abruptly stopped when she found the face of her angel and she gasped at the sight of her. 

“Jesus Christ Joe, she’s been in that place for over a year! How can I get her out?”

“It’s not easy Claire, but someone has to help her.”

Joe gave Claire the number to call the adoption agency in Honduras and what little he had discovered about Luna. He warned her the adoption protocols were temporarily closed for unknown reasons and forwarded the email listing the steps to adopt a child from a country outside of Honduras. It included two stays in-country to live among the culture of the child as the agency went over her dossier. 

Claire was crying with the love and fear she felt for Luna and promised Joe she would keep him posted. When she felt Jamie’s hand on her bare shoulder she looked up into compassionate eyes and she felt him say, I’m here to help you, trust me with your truth, I will help you bring her home. 

Claire clicked off from Joe and dissolved into her tears and fears while Jamie held her with his strength. 

Jamie looked at the pictures of Luna on the website and felt his heart open up and pull her in. Her face was the picture of innocence, her huge eyes revealed her loveless life and fear. He waited for Claire to be distracted and returned to her picture again and again. Claire loves this beautiful little girl like she was her own. Something had to be done. 

Luna became their project during their off-hours. Returning to work was hard enough, but Luna was a constant presence in both their minds. The requirement for being considered as an adoption family were rigid including two prolonged stays in-country. When Jamie brought that up Claire would start shaking and he could see the war going on in her head. 

“Stay in Honduras for two weeks? I could see Luna during that time, but we must be invited and they have had our dossier for three weeks, Jamie. When are we going to hear from them?”

Claire was clearly scared shitless about entering that country again, even when Jamie assured her the city was safe. He talked it over with John during an afternoon hike when Claire was working. When John bid him farewell he followed up with, “I’m going with her Jamie because you can’t. Tell her to schedule the visit right away before I’m assigned to a case.”

When Jamie told Claire John would go with her to Honduras she cried and hung on his neck. Within a week, Claire was invited by the agency to come and see Luna. Jamie had mixed feelings letting go of her at the airport. 

“Sassenach, I’m so sorry I canna go with ye. Are ye alright with John lass?”

She looked into his eyes feeling such gratitude he would let her go without him. She smiled and kissed him before breaking out of his embrace to jog to her boarding gate. John settled into the seat next to her and complained that her pregnancy put a stop to partying enroute to Honduras. 

“You’re a very selfish person, curbing my happiness on this trip. I just wanted you to know that Claire.”

She smiled at him and got comfortable for the long plane ride to a country she hated. 

They strolled through the nursery the next day, a requirement of the agency to look at all the children up for adoption. Claire could hardly breathe waiting to see Luna. She heard a familiar cry and looked through a window at numerous cribs with children inside. The minute her eyes saw Luna she struggled to stay on her feet. Tears rolled down her cheeks and she smiled at the infant who was having a tantrum, shaking a stuffed toy in Claire’s direction. They were forced to view the rest of the infants before returning to the nursery where Luna was. 

Claire walked directly to Luna and smiled at her obvious recollection. She held her arms out for her and Luna moved into them gripping Claire’s hair with both fists and burying her face in Claire’s neck. They both clung to each other with tears that flowed freely. Even John was choked up and turned around to cough harshly. The rest of the afternoon, Claire held Luna in a huge rocking chair and seemed far away in a world she shared with Luna alone. John paced the hallway watching with growing concern. 

“Jamie, I’m worried. These two are obviously bonded and Luna remembers her. Claire is in another world and just wants to hold her. I’m not sure this will end well for Claire. What should I do?”

“Protect her John. Dinna let anyone close to Claire. Other than that, let it play out. Ye willna be able to drag Claire away until they tell her to go, aye?”  
Claire cried so hard on her last day with Luna. She heard the baby wailing for her until they were out the door of the orphanage. John held a weeping Claire all the way back to Scotland and was anxious to hand her to Jamie to console. He really didn’t get the emotional part of this mission. 

Claire returned to work and pushed Luna out of her mind so she could function. The next in-country requirement was a four-week stay in Honduras and Claire made contact with the agency every week asking for an invitation to come. She was being stone-walled without any explanation and it was taking its toll on her. 

Jamie watched her brave attempts to act normal but as her pregnancy progressed her expanding waistline reminded him constantly of her delicate condition. He was prepared to accompany her to Honduras as soon as they were allowed. The weeks turned into months and Claire could not take it anymore. Jamie held her close and promised to find an answer to why they had not been processed already. He looked into her eyes and asked her with a sincere and loving heart to marry him, right now. 

The following weekend, they were married at the Justice of the Peace with Jenny and Ian standing as witnesses. Claire was six months pregnant and Jamie knew the window of opportunity to travel to Honduras was closing. 

Cutter answered Jamie’s call with a heartfelt hello to his friend. Jamie asked about other means to push the adoption through since the agency had closed the proceedings at the order of the government. It was a match to kindling as Cutter felt Claire’s despair to save Luna. He remembered her asleep on the Lazy Boy with a hand in the incubator, waking every hour to feed this doomed child. He was mobilized to cut through this ridiculous bureaucracy and get some answers from the agency. 

On a whim, Cutter wrote a letter to the president of the United States, detailing the surgical procedure that saved Luna and how one nurse fought for her against all odds. He told of her bravery when the hospital was raided, how she was shot and barely escaped her own death. These terrible events befell her because she pledged two years of her life to help the Hondurans. He included her husband’s bravery when he got all of them out of the country, risking his own life. He completed the letter with his wish to reunite this forgotten child with the only mother she ever knew.  
“Go with God.” The envelope was sealed and sent. 

A month later, Cutter received a letter from the White House. A duplicate letter was received by Jamie and Claire. Both letters were signed by the President with the amazing news that Luna was coming to America the following weekend and they were invited to the Dallas airport to greet her. 

Claire sat down hard in the rocking chair and stared at the floor as Jamie read the letter. She looked up expecting the next shoe to fall and watched Jamie typing into his phone. Claire was frozen watching Jamie pace as he arranged a flight for the following weekend. She felt the tears fall down her cheeks as she waited to hear bad news or wake up from a dream. 

Jamie knelt on the floor to look into her eyes. “She is coming home Sassenach, in four days! The president arranged this for you, and for Luna. Be happy Sassenach, it is happening and we will have her home with us by next week!”

Jamie pulled Claire into bed and held her close telling her it was going to be perfect and to have faith. Claire gripped his sides and shook, feeling so small in this miraculous undertaking. 

Claire gripped Jamie’s hand at the Dallas airport and heard her mantra repeated over and over again, please let her be on that plane, please let her be on that plane. She looked up at an entourage coming out of the plane. They were obviously secret service and surrounded a woman in the middle of all those bodies. Claire and Jamie stood waiting, barely breathing. 

A petite, young, blonde woman with striking features was revealed and she held Luna in her arms looking around for a familiar face. When her eyes found Jamie she smiled and walked to him, seeing Claire’s face she knew who she was. Luna was handed to Claire as she dissolved in grateful tears and sat down to avoid falling over as Luna’s face pressed to hers.

Jamie looked down at the office manager and his eyes were shouting his thanks to her. “Mission accomplished soldier, I would salute ye if I could. I am so grateful.”

She looked at him with compassion, her face showing her delight in helping this mission come to pass. She placed her hand on Jamie’s arm.

“The U.S. President salutes you, Jamie, from behind the scenes as you and I have come to know it. It was a three-country effort to arrange the adoption, the U.S., Scotland, and Honduras. How the U.S. President got involved I’ll never know but it was his clout that got the attention needed. Luna belongs to the two of you now. I pulled strings to get assigned to this mission so I could carry her to you. It’s my going away present and no one is more deserving than you.”

Jamie was reeling from the disclosure. He looked up and saw Dougal hanging back looking like he was a stranger, waiting to board his flight. He turned slightly and locked eyes with Jamie and the two men nodded slightly to each other. Jamie looked at Claire and Luna feeling like his heart would burst in his chest. There was much to do to ready the house for this precious child and another soon to be born. He took a deep breath and looked for the office manager but she was gone, as was Dougal. They melted into the airport population on their way back to Scotland. 

Jamie felt the tears on his cheeks and sat down next to Claire and Luna, holding them close and thanking God for this miracle. His head was bowed as he prayed his thanks until a tiny hand reached out for him and pushed her body toward him. He pulled Luna to him and locked eyes with his new daughter.

“I’m Da, Luna.” 

She touched his face and then his tears with her finger, looking at him like he was the most important person she had ever met. 

“No more fear lassie, ye’ll have a life of love, I promise.”

Jamie struggled to push the tears back. Not for his pride or appearing weak. He wanted his eyes clear so he could see his two lassies and Claire’s round abdomen that held his next son or daughter, closely protected and fiercely loved. 

The End.


End file.
